DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 14 / CODE:BLU | "COUNTDOWN (TO FIND A GIRL FRIEND)" | 09/20/14

I. 91 DAYS, 5 HOURS, 41 MINUTES, 18 SECONDS

So yes, the title says all you need to know, in that I have about (let's see...)
"91 days, 5 hours, 41 minutes, and 18 seconds" to have successfully (yes),
to have successfully founded A GIRL FRIEND, before my DEADLINE DATE
of "Saturday, December 20th, 2014 (the midnight, following)", and yeah,
thanks to this website (TIMEANDDATE.COM), yeah, it gives me access to
something called a "time calculator" (lol), which, by entering "today's date"
(09.20.14), and (yes) my deadline date of (12.20.14), it tells ya EXACTLY
by "days!/hours!/minutes!/seconds!" how much time I have left on my side,
and indeed, as we get closer to deadline time, I will providing 'time updates',
reminding you, how much time I got left, along with my 'progress updates'.


II. A COUNTDOWN (WTF?!)

So yeah, it sounds quite crazy for one to have to put a *COUNTDOWN*
on themselves, in terms of finding a "RELATIONSHIP" by a 'certain date',
but yeah, WELCOME TO MY LIFE, its what I pretty much do EVERY YEAR
(particularly 5 of the last 6 years), and no doubt, they've all come (lol...)
SAD ENDINGS, to say the very least, in which I was very, very much
UNSUCCESSFUL in my hard fought efforts (attempts) to get a girl friend.
You would think, after all these years, I would been able to (idunno) LEARN
from that bullshit, but no, I'm about go on that ROLLERCOASTER again!
This is where the importance of FRIENDS come into play, to, you know,
STOP ME from doing such things, but sadly, I still continue to HAVE NONE!


III. LAST CHRISTMAS (2013)

So 'Last Christmas (2013)' was very much a TRAINWRECK CHRISTMAS
to say the least, as I was indeed unable to found A GIRL FRIEND (awe)
in time for Christmas (set deadline date of '12/23/13'), so what did I do, lol,
well I headed on down to the LCBO, and yeah, got myself 5 BOTTLES of
hard liquor, IN ATTEMPTS TO drink my (holiday/relationship) woes away,
and I say 'in attempts to', because I kinda failed in achieving "said" goal,
due to the fact, I (as in, my body) couldn't really quite 'handle' hard liquor,
and yeah, I actually ended up throwing majority of it DOWN THE DRAIN!
Needless to say, I have no 'plans' as far as resorting to 'alcohol' (binging),
this coming holiday season (just gonna have to 'resort' to something else).


IV. CHRISTMAS MORNING (2014)

So I want to talk about Christmas morning, and how much it means to me,
and fact I haven't recalled having a 'good Christmas morning' since, well,
before the start of The Millennium (yeah, since the 90's), which isn't to say,
every one I'd had, from the year 2000 to most recent (2013) have been bad,
but considering the circumstances of my life, in addition to the fact, well,
my life has considerably 'spiraled' (downward) from 2000 to present day,
in addition to the astonishing fact of NEVER HAVING HAD A GIRL FRIEND
(all my entire life), yeah, perhaps it would lead one to think (that maybe),
in order wake up HAPPY on Christmas... I NEED A GIRL FRIEND FIRST?!
So yeah, genius idea, I should probly TRY LOOKIN FOR A GIRL FRIEND.


V. MANNEQUIN HEAD

So yeah, as time dwells on, between now and deadline time (12.20.14),
I guess it's pretty easy to say, I will be becoming more and more 'CRAZY'
(if you wanna use 'that word') leading in to the coming (2014) holidays,
in my STRUGGLE in trying to find a girl friend, which indeed, is what it is,
a 'struggle', having been trying for MORE THAN HALF MY LIFE NOW,
trying to find MY FIRST GIRL FRIEND/FIRST LOVE, to no real success.
Alot of ideas are coming at me, (somewhat) 'crazy' ones, to say the least,
like one, for example, where I might go buy a (female) MANNEQUIN HEAD,
and yeah, claim her as my *TEMPORARY GIRL FRIEND for the time being*
until, you know, I've (successfully) managed to get a (REAL) GIRL FRIEND.


VI. BUSINESS CARDS

So, I wanna make note of the fact that brand new DVSNGH business cards,
that's right, BUSINESS CARDS (lol), actual, physical 3 x 4" printed cards
(intended to promote my blog site and twitter, and yeah, spread word around town that I'M SINGLE and IN NEED A GIRL FRIEND... not joking)
they are in the "designing stage" atm, and yeah, they should hit the streets
mid-October time, and when I say 'hit the streets', I mean *literally*,
cause that's what I do, dump them on the streets, and (stupidly) expect
PRETTY GIRLS to spot em 'on the street', pick em up, and HOLLA at me.
Having tried this whole 'business card experiment' thing so many times,
and getting NOTHING out of it, you would think I'd know better by now.


VII. BUSINESS CARD REMINDER

So yeah, I thought I let y'all know, I did kinda run into a minor problem,
with my last set of (custom) business cards I had ordered (October, 2013),
due to the fact that my co-workers (at #RestaurantThatCannotBeNamed)
apparently came across them, and if you can believe it, but *somebody*
went and posted (a pic of) it on INSTAGRAM, as some sorta "WTF?!",
and yeah, it became a HUGE running joke *with the boys* the kitchen,
for about 2 weeks, and still to this day, I would get 'asked' about it.
I later came to find out, that 'somebody on the bus' (who knows me?)
had spotted them (my cards), since that was one my 'strategic spots',
where I would leave them (the bus), so a reminder not to do 'that' anymore.


VIII. (STILL) EMPLOYED

So, at the time of this very writing, need I point out I am (still) employed,
and yeah, my position is indeed secure, and for as long I (obviously)
don't do anything FUCKED, I won't have to worry (about getting FIRED).
But that's the thing, as I approach closer to *DEADLINE TIME (12.20.14)*,
well, things are going to get MORE AND MORE CRAZY (for me, internally),
cause say, we're in November, and STILL I COULDN'T SCORE 1 DATE!
I'm pretty much gonna *FLIP*, and yeah, and if it pretty much becomes
*apparent* that NOT ONE SINGLE BITCH WANTS TO DATE ME (lol),
and I'm basically HOPELESS, well, that's gonna lead to *BAD THINGS*,
and if I get ARRESTED/JAILED, as result of it, say "goodbye" to my job!


IX. DRUGS

So, you know what they say about DRUGS, "they're bad for you!" (lol...)
and "you shouldn't do them!", and yeah, you shouldn't *CONTEMPLATE*
wanting to do them, not even for A SECOND, but guess what? bitches.
I AM VERY MUCH STRONGLY CONSIDERING DOING (YES!) DRUGS!
Particularly COCAINE, although I hear it's quite expensive, so maybe not,
but second on the 'temptation list' is METH (hopefully it's lil bit cheaper).
And no, I'm NOT JOKING by any means, about what I'm talking about here.
And if indeed, I DO choose the route of drugs, I fuckin may as well just (lol)
QUIT MY JOB, before, you know ("I'm unable to get up n' out for work").
Needless to say, December is gonna be a hard month for me, "if I'm single".


X. 647-780-9571 (ANONYMOUS LOSER)

So, if you weren't aware, in my whole QUEST TO FIND A GIRL FRIEND,
I am infact on numerous online dating sites/apps (4 months in counting),
one being, OKCUPID.COM, who btw keeps on DELETING my account.
So a few weeks ago, some TARD, by the number '647-780-9571' texts me,
and flat out on the very "first sentence of the first text" REJECTS ME,
saying, "I don't want to date you...", but yeah, wants to HELP ME (awe),
and then proceeds to give me the DUMBEST FOOL'S ADVICE ever!
And yeah, she didn't tell me who she was OKC, choosing to be anonymous,
hence the label "anonymous loser", and yeah, she goes whining the fact,
"Ppl try to help me, and I push them off", lol, GO FUCK YOURSELF, BITCH!

DIZTURBIA.COM | RECORD INDUCTION | MARILYN MANSON "ANTICHRIST SUPERSTAR" (1996) | 09/16/14

I. OPENING THOUGHTS

So, its time, I add my newest 'inductees' to my (DVSNGH) record collection,

this of which being 2 of the most SACRILEGIOUS records in music history,

it being Kanye West's "Yeezus" and Marilyn Manson's "Antichrist Superstar",

although, in the case of "Yeezus", maybe not so much an attack 'on GOD',

just a dude (Kanye) claiming himself to be 'GOD' (without religion bashing),

whereas the other (Manson) just flatout SPITTING IN THE FACE OF GOD!

Now, for me to be seen "associating" with this record (Antichrist Superstar),

it kind of (*understatement*) turns a good number of people AGAINST ME,

whether they are of the 'Christian' faith, or not, due to the (untrue) myth,

that this is a 'Satanic' record, altho, it (the lyrics) doesn't promote Satanism.

II. THOUGHTS ON MARILYN MANSON

So what do I gotta say about Marilyn Manson... he is A-FUCKIN-MAZING!

No doubt, he's got alot of 'haterz', whether it be the people who hated him

in his 'heyday' (1995-2003), or today's generation, most who weren't around

during the Manson Peak Era, but still, when they see his name or image,

they cast (bad) judgement on him, and all those, like myself who are fans.

Despite 'the name' of the band (MARILYN MANSON) being so fucked-up,

and the (CREEPY) 'gothic image' of the band being so fucked-up (oh and

must I mention, before the goth look, they were infact CROSSDRESSERS),

and all of the 'myths and lies', construed by the media, and all the haterz,

I was always A PROUD, ADMITTED FAN, even if, it made me 'lose friends'.

III. TRACKLISTING

1. "Irresponisible Hate Anthem" (4:17)
2. "The Beautiful People" (3:38)
3. "Dried Up, Tied Up, Dead To The World" (4:15)
4. "Tourniquet" (4:29)
5. "Little Horn" (2:43)
6. "Cryptorchid" (2:44)
7. "Deformography" (4:31)
8. "Wormboy" (3:56)
9. "Mister Superstar" (5:04)
10. "Angel With The Scabbed Wings" (3:52)
11. "Kinderfeld" (4:51)
12. "Antichrist Superstar" (5:14)
13. "1996" (4:01)
14. "Minute Of Decay" (4:44)
15. "The Reflecting God" (5:36)
16. "Man That You Fear" (6:10)
17. "Untitled" (1:39)

IV. TRACK REFERENCE

16. "Man That You Fear" ★★★★★
10. "Angel With The Scabbed Wings" ★★★★★
4. "Tourniquet" ★★★★★
15. "The Reflecting God" ★★★★★
12. "Antichrist Superstar" ★★★★★
8. "Wormboy" ★★★★★
3. "Dried Up, Tied Up, Dead To The World" ★★★★★
2. "The Beautiful People" ★★★★★
9. "Mister Superstar" ★★★★★
1. "Irresponisible Hate Anthem" ★★★★★
13. "1996" ★★★★
5. "Little Horn" ★★★★
14. "Minute Of Decay" ★★★★
7. "Deformography" ★★★
6. "Cryptorchid" ★★
11. "Kinderfeld" ★★
17. "Untitled" (N/A)

V. FAVORITE TRACK

So, my favorite track from 'Antichrist Superstar', a music record bytheway,

consisting of 16 songs, "13!" of which, I personally ranked "FOUR STARS

(AND ABOVE!)", so yeah, that tells you how much I like/value this record.

But my fave is "Man That You Fear" (track 16), the one "acoustic/soft" song,

on a 70+ minute record (60 of which being LOUD/ANGRY/IN-YOUR-FACE!)

At first, I didn't even like the song, having been in favor of all the other much

HEAVIER/ANGRIER songs on the record, I would always just 'skip it', but

the more I listened to it, and the more familiar I got with its (very sad) lyrics,

how it relates to me and "the (sad) disappointing life" that's become of me,

ultimately, it become my fave in the end, a song to just "end your life" to :)

VI. OTHER STANDOUT TRACKS

So yeah, the "big hit" that came out of 'Antichrist Superstar' was (track 3)

"The Beautiful People", which I did kinda like, didn't really blow me away,

what did blow me away tho, was watching MuchMusic (Canada's MTV), and

seeing a live clip of what was (track 10) "Angel With The Scabbed Wings",

and being like "Whoa!", I gotta seek out this song, and the fact MP3's didn't

exist then, well, I was kinda FORCED TO BUY 'ANTICHRIST SUPERSTAR'

and yeah, hearing (track 10) "Angel" on headphones, just BLEW MY MIND.

Also, the "controversial classics" (the songs that drew MM the most HATE),

it being (tracks 12 and 15) "Antichrist Superstar" and "The Reflecting God",

just lyrically and musically (and even, spiritually) OUT OF THIS WORLD!

VII. LEAST FAVORITE TRACKS

Sucks to say this (to all the haterz), but 'Antichrist Superstar' may be the

closest to a 'perfect record', like I mean, it rarely had any filler/dull moments.

I would say (track 11) "Kinderfeld" (to me) was the 'least interesting' song

of the whole record, next to (track 7) "Deformography", not that they were

'boring songs', it's just many of the other tracks, completely trumped them.

Some might consider (track 8, for example) "Wormboy" as maybe a filler,

but I digged every minute of it, the same with (track 9) "Mister Superstar",

which I initially passed off as filler, at first, until I gave it couple good listens,

and it probably has (one of, or maybe) 'the best chorus' on the whole album.

However, (track 6) "Cryptorchid", I did kinda think was a little too hoaky.

VIII. ARTWORK

So, say what you will, about the band, the music, or the rather 'silly name' of

"Antichrist Superstar", it had (and very much still does have) one of the best,

most epic album covers, and accompanying artwork displays, of all-time,

putting aside the ridiculousness, of course, that of Marilyn Manson (himself)

posing as an "angel", and his (um) naked body, covered in white powder,

intended (obviously) to "offend" people, but the way it was photographed,

and then (afterward) reproduced, to what you see, in the final product,

whoever was behind that vision, if it be Manson himself, deserves praise.

Also, the various 'spooky' fonts, and the incorporation of "Kabbalah" (hebrew

diagramming), the whole put-together of it, still amazes me (18 years later).

IX. CLOSING THOUGHTS

So there you have it, my take on Marilyn Manson's 'Antichrist Superstar', a

record I am very much PROUD to have in my (DVSNGH) record collection,

despite what *some people* might say about it (FUCK THOSE PEOPLE).

Though he's labelled this big DEVIL worshiping/promoting guy, he's not,

he's a promoter of FREE SPEECH, and allowing people to believe in, yeah,

whatever THE FUCK they wanna believe in (anti-facism, anti-dictatorship).

Why he chose to STICK IT! to the Christian faith, was due to his childhood,

being told what he "should/shouldn't" like, based upon the IGNORANCE

found throughout Christianity, and because he got 'rich and famous' off it,

well, that's when Christianity fought back, in their efforts to bring him down. 

X. PICTURES

(FRONT COVER)

(BACK COVER)

(INLAY, FULL)

(INLAY, LEFT, LYRICS)

(INLAY, RIGHT, LYRICS)

(VINYL 1 & 2)

(VINYL 1, SIDE A)

(VINYL 1, SIDE B)

(VINYL 2, SIDE A)

(VINYL 2, SIDE B)

(ALL TOGETHER)

(ALTERNATE COVER, CD AND CASSETTE ONLY)

DIZTURBIA.COM | RECORD INDUCTION | KAYNE WEST "YEEZUS" (2013) | 09/16/14

I. OPENING THOUGHTS

So, the next record now to be inducted into my (DVSNGH) record collection

is indeed 'Yeezus' by Kanye West, released last summer (2013), and yeah,

like the other record ('Antichrist Superstar'), a record which VERY MUCH

garnered quite alot of HATE and CRITICISM by the media and its peers,

nowhere near that of 'Antichrist Superstar', but still, alot of haterz of Yeezus,

especially those, who were fans of the man's earlier works (2004-2007),

many to whom claim "this is Kanye's WORST ALBUM ever put out", lol,

when in fact, it's the *opposite*, it's THE BEST RECORD he ever put out.

Which bytheway, this is an UNOFFICIAL record copy of 'Yeezus', I got here,

as an official version has yet to been made/released, for whatever reason.

II. THOUGHTS ON KANYE WEST

So let's talk about Kanye West, and the fact, he is a very, very HATED man,

why, obviously, because he is an EGOMANIAC (not saying in a bad light),

and yeah, *some people* can't come to grips with egomaniacs, so they hate.

Now, I wasn't an immediate fan of Kanye, never knew he existed in his

early uprising (2004-2006), until 2007, when he made the song "Stronger"

(featuring Daft Punk), which at first I didn't like, but later came to love it.

Then Kanye, apparently started getting a bit 'weirdy', with his next 2 albums

('808's & Heartbreaks' and 'My Dark Twisted Fantasy'), and yeah, come time

for 'this record', he full-fledge let out his 'weirdness', in becoming YEEZUS,

and while many turned on him, I on the other hand, embraced the fucker!

III. TRACKLISTING

1. "On Sight (feat. Daft Punk)" (2:37)
2. "Black Skinhead (feat. Daft Punk)" (3:08)
3. "I Am A God (feat. Daft Punk)" (3:51)
4. "New Slaves" (4:16)
5. "Hold My Liquor (feat. Chief Keef and Bon Iver)" (5:26)
6. "I'm In It" (3:54)
7. "Blood On The Leaves" (6:00)
8. "Guilt Trip" (4:03)
9. "Send It Up (feat. Daft Punk)" (2:58)
10. "Bound 2" (3:49)

IV. TRACK REFERENCE

2. "Black Skinhead (feat. Daft Punk)" ★★★★★
4. "New Slaves" ★★★★★
7. "Blood On The Leaves" ★★★★★
1. "On Sight (feat. Daft Punk)" ★★★★★
10. "Bound 2" ★★★★★
5. "Hold My Liquor (feat. Chief Keef and Bon Iver)" ★★★★★
3. "I Am A God (feat. Daft Punk)" ★★★★
9. "Send It Up (feat. Daft Punk)" ★★★
8. "Guilt Trip" ★★
6. "I'm In It" ★

V. FAVORITE TRACK

So, my favorite track off 'Yeezus', no doubt is (track 2) "Black Skinhead",

the first 'single' off the record, indeed, BANNED by many media outlets,

for its "controversial subject matter", and yeah, the fact that he (Kanye)

had taken on a 'new persona', in which the media (once beloved to him)

and (former) fans couldn't quite take, so yeah, they simply blacklisted him.

What I also love about this song, although, it hasn't been publicly admitted,

it contains the rhythm notes of Marilyn Manson's "The Beautiful People"

(off 'Antichrist Superstar', 1996), again, something to which the media and

(former) fans couldn't quite accept, but me personally, FUCKIN LOVED IT!

Here's hoping, he doesn't go back to 'the old Kanye', come the next record.

VI. OTHER STANDOUT TRACKS

So there's all sorts of amazing wonders on 'Yeezus', and album, bytheway,

Kanye (self-admitted) was made to 'please Kanye', not radio or "the label",

and if it means alienating 'some of' his listenership, yeah, to hell with them,

starting at THE very first second of the record, with (track 1) "On Sight",

with a BLASTING intro (thanks in-part to DAFT PUNK) to make the point,

this is not a 'soft n chewy' record, and yeah, it's meant to 'hurt' (your ears!).

Then you got (track 4) "New Slaves", and eventho, I don't quite drink the

'Kanye kool-aid', as far as his racial spewage, from a musical standpoint,

it's a fun and entertaining listen, same with (track 7) "Blood On The Leaves",

and of course, how am I to leave out, the fun lovin' (track 10) "Bound 2".

VII. LEAST FAVORITE TRACKS

So yes, 'Yeezus' by no means is a perfect album, it definately has its flaws,

one being its 'absence' of an album cover (and accompanying artwork), tho

done purposely, so listener can focus entirely on music, rather than image.

Of the 10 songs, '7' I did happen to find exceptional (four stars and above),

but of the few I didn't like, (track 8) "Guilt Trip", I thought was a bit boring,

while (track 9) "Send It Up" did start out interesting, yeah, it just lost me.

Now as far as my least favorite track goes, must say, (track 6) "I'm In It",

though to some, considered 'the most entertaining' track, simply cause of

its HARDCORE (*sexual*) lyrics, but yeah, found it a bit hard to stomach,

had 'Yeezus' been full a 'those songs', it just mighta lost 'a follower' (me).

VIII. ARTWORK

So, as I had noted already, this here is not the 'official' Yeezus record,

and according to the source I got it from, it was labelled/titled 'unofficial',

though the fine print on the actual record says its from "GOOD Music"

(Kanye's label) and made by the "Vinyl Lovers Distribution Network",

(in Germany), but yeah, in terms of providing an actual 'album cover',

what do they do, they print/manufacture an ENLARGED PHOTOSHOP

of the 'Yeezus' CD (as a single sleeve) and just slip the record between.

Not sure if 'Yeezus' ever had an album cover, or if (in the future) there

will ever be a re-release, which infact does contain proper album artwork,

but whatever, it is what it is, so I guess I oughta STFU bout it and move on.

IX. CLOSING THOUGHTS

So there you go, both 'Yeezus' & 'Antichrist Superstar' (love those names!),

officially entered into the "DVSNGH" Record Collection, so idunno, mannn,

does this officially mean I GO TO HELL now, lol, for not only 'liking' these

2 records, but adding to further SIN, 'paying for' them out of my pockets?

And to add further more insult, I even went the lengths of buying clothings

(shirts, hats) in the name of these 2 records, yeah, I'm probably goin' to hell!

Now who knows, maybe one day, MY FUTURE GIRL FRIEND -OR- WIFE

might make me *sell them off* to somebody, if (say) she just can't live with

the thought a HER BOY FRIEND (that being me) possessing such 'things',

but meanwhile... I own 'em... and certainly not ashamed to showin' em off!

X. PICTURES

(FRONT COVER)

(BACK COVER)

(VINYL, SIDE A)

(VINYL, SIDE B)

(ALL TOGETHER)

DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 13 / CODE:BLU | "10 THINGS (ABOUT DVSNGH)" | 09/12/14

I. 10 THINGS...

So, the title you see, "10 Things To Know About Your Next Boy Friend"
(DVSNGH, Dave Singh)" is indeed correct, LOL, despite the stupidity of it, 
cause (as the haters might say) what girl (or woman) in their right mind
would ever want ME as their next boy friend?! (like for real now) LOL!
Despite the fact, I have all tha tools to be the BEST BOY FRIEND EVER! 
Like, I have THE LOOKS, THE JOB (despite it being a shitty job, but still, 
the location I mean), and most importantly, THE DRIVE, to wanna show, 
I can be the best BOY FRIEND, as well as, BEST FRIEND a girl can have. 
Whether me doing THIS WRITING is actually going to make any difference, 
as far as me "getting a girl friend", ummm, I guess I'll find that out in time. 


II. MY LOOKS

Starting things off, well, is me addressing (beyond all things) MY LOOKS.
Yeah, I'm UGLY, ain't no doubt about it... no wait... I'm actually NOT UGLY.
Why it is I wrote that, well let's just say, for a good good number of 'years',
I *was* very much under the impression that I was UGLY, and the reason
(INTERNET) BITCHES didn't like me or never wanna reply back to me
was cuz of my pictures, stemming from the fact, (I thought) I WAS UGLY.
Have to admit, when take pix of myself, the overwhelming majority of them
come off 'bad', and thus, I have to *sift* thru em (to find the 'good' ones),
and yeah, I have days *I like what I see in the mirror*, and days *I don't*,
but yeah, took me until just recently to realize, I actually look pretty good!


III. MY ATTITUDE

Now I realize "other reasons" why BITCHES might not like me (LOL at my
blatant WORD OF CHOICE there), and yeah, might need to work on that.
But just because I use the "B" word (BITCH) or the "C" word (CUNT) or the
"S" word (SLUT) or the "W" word (WHORE) regularly in my vocabulary, lol,
doesn't mean I have an ATTITUDE PROBLEM or I'm SEXIST in any way.
My attitude is perfectly fine, however, if you happen to think otherwise,
based off what is being expressed in my blog writings, and the fact, well,
I say stuff that might not sound right, or yeah, full of ANGST/HATE/RAGE,
what else can I say, I'm obviously very much DISSATISFIED with my life,
as result of it, "you see what you see", on my site, tw and private messages.


IV. DRUGS

It's amazing, despite all that you see, as far as "what comes out outta head"
(what most people read as "negative banter") or even some of my pictures,
for example, the other day, me taking a picture (PROUDLY) holding up a
MUSIC RECORD of MARILYN MANSON (ANTICHRIST SUPERSTAR), lol,
which indeed, I bought "AS A FAN" (if you think that sounds "FUCKED!") :P
Yeah! most might assume "I must be on drugs" (or at least "on something"),
but guess what?! I DON'T DO DRUGS, neither recreational nor prescription,
and the (self) presentation that you see, yeah, it's all FUCKIN' NATURAL!
Andso I figure, as I continue to WAIT! and WAIT! and WAIT! til (the day...)
I finally GET A GIRL FRIEND, I may as well (uh) WRITE! to pass the time.


V. MY BACKGROUND

So let's see what else, as far as my background goes, I am GUYANESE,
having come from (both) Guyanese parents, and yes, BORN IN GUYANA,
first migrating to the USA (NEW YORK CITY), before coming to Canada.
And yeah, I happened to been the 'last Guyanese born' member of my fam
(previous generation) before they moved to various parts of North America.
Now I don't have a "Guyanese accent" nor do my parents or my brothers,
but scattered throughout my family (aunts, uncles, cousins) you will find it.
Oh and yeah, I have no connection/tie to "Guyanese culture", seeing as,
(I think) the food sucks... the music sucks... and indeed, the fashion sucks.
Only thing I like GUYANESE, yep, are the GIRLS (beyond all the rest!) <3


VI. MY (RACIST) PARENTS

So speaking of my parents, well, hate to TALK SHIT about them (oh well),
but I just felt like shedding the fact, that yeah, they indeed are RACISTS
(to a large degree against 'blacks', and to a lesser degree, against 'whites'),
having stemmed from the murder of my grandfather (my father's father) in
the early 80's "at the hands of violent black people" back home in Guyana.
So it's kind of an unwritten rule in the family, not to date 'black people', and
especially not to introduce them at family gatherings (and forget marriage!)
However, I don't hold animosity/hates towards blacks, and how about it,
if my FIRST GIRL FRIEND does happen to be (wait for it...) BLACK! XO
then I'm totally cool with it, but yeah, it just might upset a few 'close people'.


VII. MY (MARRIED) BROTHERS

So yeah, I have 2 (older) brothers, who both happen to be MARRIED!
However, on the contrary, tho they did marry 'brides of their choosing',
needless to say, having observed both 'situations' closely myself, yeah,
I can definately tell ya, they didn't marry out of "love", that's for damn sure.
My one 'bro' (living in Seattle) got married, why, cause he got fed-up being
"bored in Seattle" and married 'whatever' lurking in his apartment complex.
And then my other 'bro' (living nearby) got married, why, for 'tax benefits',
as well as some strange believe, he has to get married before (age) '40',
since, I guess, it 'looks bad' on his soul (lol) to get married at an 'old age'.
And to top it all, they both chose 'private weddings', over 'proper weddings'.


VIII. MY WEDDING, MY LOVE

So theres no doubt about it, I look at both my brothers weddings as JOKES,
especially since they both married people of different race/religion/culture,
be it, one to a 'Russian', and the other to a 'Filipino' (both far from 'Indian').
Me, on the other hand, I am HELLBENT on marrying someone that is of
the *same or similar* race/religion/culture as myself, and not only that,
that it be a 'proper wedding', with family involved, and to 'be felt' by many.
And most importantly, I want my wedding/marriage to be out of "LOVE" <3
not because someone's "visa" is soon gonna expire, and if they don't find
someone to "marry (fast!)", they might get sent back to their homeland :$
Indeed, I don't wanna follow the pattern of my 2 brothers, I want what's right.


IX. MY JOB

So, need I have to mention, I work at one of Brampton's top-tier restaurants
(not supposed to mention em, but fuck it, B0$T0N P!ZZ@), and yeah, 
the fact I can have a job at such well-beloved attraction point, and still,
I HAVE BIGGEST DIFFICULTY IN SIMPLY FINDING A GIRL FRIEND,
it boggles my mind, cause I easily ASSUMED (upon time I got hired there)
my "chances" of FINDING A GIRL FRIEND would SKYROCKET immensely,
but here I be 3 YEARS LATER,still NO GIRL FRIEND (NOT EVEN 1 DATE).
And yeah, I've told countless number of BITCHES (online) that I work at
(said location), and that I could be their (meal) "hook-up", still to no luck.
Now, as far as "the offer" goes, it's still up (you just gotta be *my girl* first).


X. MY CURSE

And finally, last thing you need to know about *YOUR NEXT BOY FRIEND
(DVSNGH, DAVE SINGH)*, hahaha, feels so funny writing/saying *THAT*,
is about the LIFE-LONG CURSE bestowed upon me, ummm, all my life,
preventing me from FINDING A GIRL FRIEND and FALLING IN LOVE.
I mean, JUST LOOK AT ME, how is it someone who even LOOKS LIKE ME
can't get girls (or girl friends), not even, FAT/UGLY/SMELLY GIRLS (lol).
There has to be some *COSMIC/SPIRITUAL FORCE* standing in my way,
and yeah, if you read my previous article "EP12: MY CURSE" (see link),
I try elaborate more on this CURSE, not just put on me, but my family too.
So there you have it, dunno what more to tell ya, my mind is fuckin spent.

DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 12 / CODE:BLU | "MY CURSE (WHY I CAN'T GET A GIRL FRIEND)" | 12/09/14

I. MY CURSE I

So there's definately no denying it, or hiding it, but I am indeed SINGLE,
and not only 'just single', but yeah, SINGLE ALL MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!111
Not by choice, since I have ALWAYS WANTED to have A GIRL FRIEND,
but yeah, the *FORCES THAT BE* still continue to prevent it, to this day.
So I thought I devote an entire 10-PIECE article speaking in detail about it,
aptly titled "MY CURSE", and indeed, WHY I CAN'T GET A GIRL FRIEND!
And adding more SALT into the WOUND, it's not only the basic fact that
"I can't get a girl friend", I can't get A DATE, not even A TEXT from a girl!
absolutely nothing, look, I'll even POST MY NUMBER: 416-884-3787!
and will a single girl even text me? NOPE! it's all thanks to THE CURSE!


II. MY CURSE II

So before I get into THE CURSE, yeah, let's quickly sum up "my love life"
(or lack thereof), starting with 'public school', which was about "grade 5",
when I first started 'liking girls', and indeed, wanting to have a 'girl friend',
but I never got to have one, no problem, it was only 'public school' (right?)
So next came 'high school', and surely,  I assumed I'd *eventually* find a
'girl friend' along the way, but NEVER ONCE in my 6 YEARS in high school
(6 years, cuz I failed grade 12 English 3 TIMES, never took summer school)
did 'the opportunity' arise, and yeah, I had to *STANDBY (IN ENVY)* of
other guys having 'girl friends', while I got nothing, not even ugly/fat girls.
Indeed, looking back at this, has me very much TREMBLING IN ANGER!


III. MY CURSE III

So then I went to 'college' for a brief moment ('one semester', mind you, lol)
(before dropping out), and yeah, from the very 'first minute' I was there,
*academics/learning* never seemed to be my focus, unfortunately, yeah,
instead I was too focused on tryin to make friends and *find a girl friend*,
neither of which, I was successful at doing, so I fuckin ditched it altogether.
Not too long after that, I got my first job, as a dishwasher for a Swiss Chalet,
lasting only 6 months, before quitting, thanks mainly to bullying by 'the boys'.
But no, in the short time there, not a single girl (server, host) came on to me.
After years, jobless, I later got a gig selling 'music/comic/wrestling' t-shirts
over in Shopper's World mall, for 3 years, before "the recession" kicked in.



IV. MY CURSE IV

So the job I had (selling t-shirts+hats) in Shopper's World, despite the fact,
I was getting paid 'well under' ($5/hour at one point), whatever, didn't mind it,
the job gave me HUGE EXPOSURE to girls, and yeah, cuz it was a booth,
and not an actual 'store', I didn't have to wait on customers to walk on in,
they would walk right by me, and yeah, there would be alot of *eye-to-eye*,
whether it was random girls, or girls who work in certain stores, in that mall.
But amazingly, in my 3 years (on-and-off) I only struck luck with ONE GIRL,
from a children's store called 'Rainbow', I got to know briefly (3-4 months),
and yeah, we traded numbers, but after 5 texts (she suddenly disappeared),
the opportunity never even came up for A DATE, lol, so talk about my luck.


V. MY CURSE V

So the last time (or second-last time, I should say) I saw this girl (2010),
who's name was "Richa" (although it's not 100% confirmed, I do believe
this here is her facebook, tho I've never communicated with her through it),
it was in Shopper's World mall, at the t-shirt booth, and 'we linked our cells',
and yeah, she looked real stoked to see me (having not talked in months),
so yeah, I thought that we were gonna be *better friends* from that point,
but was I ever wrong, we texted 5 times, but never heard from her again.
Around a week later, I did see her with a friend (in Shopper's World mall),
watching me from a distance, taking into eachothers ears, with a 'mad look',
but I didn't go and approach her, I assumed I did 'something wrong', I guess.


VI. MY CURSE VI

So as the very famous (life) saying goes "everything happens for a reason",
and yeah, not realizing it 'back then' (5 years ago), but realizing it *now*,
it was indeed THE CURSE causing my relations, with one, "Richa" to sour,
and eventually become the faded 'ancient memory' that it is today (in 2014).
The fact I've spent this amount of time talkin about her, is it safe to assume,
I wanna get back in touch with this "Richa" girl? (should be obvious) Yes.
But yeah, as I was saying, it's THE CURSE (placed upon me by GOD) that
caused not only my friendship with "Richa" to (yeah) crumble the way it did,
and also preventing me from linking with other girls in Shoppers World mall,
the many... to whom I easily coulda "gotten to know... and them some" :P


VII. MY CURSE VII

So anyways, about a year later, after the recession (black hole) came and
swept Shopper's World mall, and yeah, left me seeking 'new employment',
I would apply to 25 dine-in restaurants throughout Brampton/Mississauga,
in a span of 7 days, and thus I landed my 'current' job with B0$t0n P!zz@.
So yeah, andso I been 'told', I'm not allowed to talk about/mention *THEM*
(as far as my 'personal, web rantings'), so I guess I'll make this real 'brief'.
But yeah, the fact, I WORK AT A B0$T0N P!ZZ@ (for 3 nearly years now)
> RESTAURANT THAT ATTRACTS INSANE AMOUNTS OF BITCHES <
and STILL I CAN'T GET A GIRL FRIEND, yeah, what the fuck can I say?!
Was upon there, I (fully) realized, I've indeed been dealt A CURSED LIFE!



VIII. MY CURSE VIII

So yeah, the fact I go on (and on and on...) with this whole CURSE thing,
I figure a discuss a little about, yes, the 'origins' of this (supposed) curse.
Kay, so there's this uncle I have, living out in Scarborough (my Uncle B),
andso I heard, through the grapevine, even recently as 'a few weeks ago',
that he's been trying to undo this 'curse' that was brought onto our family
'over a century ago', and it is this very curse, to which has provided alot of
'bad spirits' to members of our family, especially, the last 3 generations.
Not only has the curse affected him (Uncle B) personally, being that, well,
he's recent divorcee, but also his 2 kids (that being my 2 cousins), from
what I heard, aren't really doing well, in terms of jobs and relationships.


IX. MY CURSE IX

So now, when it comes to the curse, and how it affects 'my family' per se,
yeah, I guess it pretty much shows its ugly face, in various different ways,
like for example, my 2 cousins, I mentioned before (1 being a girl, 1 a guy).
From what I would recall, 2 good-looking, and very charismatic people,
and yeah, "meeting people", is the last of their worries (opposite my case),
unfortunately, from what I hear, one is having a hard time holding a job,
while the other, well, is meeting one "abusive boy friend" after the other.
For me, my job is the last of my worries, but as far as 'other departments',
the fact, "I CAN'T GET A GIRL FRIEND!", let alone A DATE or A FUCK,
and yeah, my spending problems, and current ($7'500+) DEBT CRISIS!



X. MY CURSE X

So yeah, as far as "the family curse", and how it relates to ME personally,
is that, well, no matter HOW DAMN HARD I TRY and WHERE IT IS I TRY
(dating sites, bars, clubs, the mall), yeah, it's just never gonna happen,
> I AM NEVER GOING TO FALL IN LOVE NOR FIND A GIRL FRIEND <
Easy to say, EVERYBODY (past puberty) in my family, EXCEPT FOR ME
has had "a partner", at some point in their life (as I still await MY BREAK!).
Perhaps I might be "the one" *FORBIDDED* from ever having a relationship.
While I continue to FIGHT! and FIGHT! and FIGHT! against THE CURSE,
there's part of me, insisting I CONTINUE!, while there's another telling me
to just GIVE UP!, and yeah, throw my body infronta speeding 18 wheeler!