DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 27 / CODE:PNK | "MY GIRL FRIEND (VANESSA)" | 12/30/14

I. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA

Sooo, today's blog report is dedicated to one person (lol, ummm kay,
let's just *pretend* she a real person) and one person only, this here being
MY WONDERFUL GIRL FRIEND, yeah, VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA,
been 2 weeks now, since we been together now (12.13.14, so cute, I know),
and yeah, though I really can't consider her a real *difference maker*
(in the sad, shallow, pitiful life of one, "DVSNGH" Dave Singh), I know, huh,
SHE seems to have given me a whole lot to TALK ABOUT in recent weeks.
Cause, if you were to look back, (idunno) 1-2 months ago (from this writing),
I gots NO SHAME admitting what I was talking about, lol, the subject being
WOMEN'S DIRTY PANTIES, and the fact I buy em, and DO SHIT with em.


II. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA II

So yeah, it goes down officially in tha records, I ("DVSNGH" Dave Singh)
finally -FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE- have a girl friend,
having been SINGLE (in what felt like an ETERNITY) MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Though this theory can somewhat be debated, considering the fact, well
MY GIRL FRIEND is one not of HUMAN SPECIE (and in fact, A DOLL),
so depending on who's reading, yeah, you either *AGREE* with me
on the fact I'm TAKEN) or *DISAGREE* with me wholeheartedly, lol,
and prefer to call it as it is (that I'm SINGLE and always and forever be).
But yeah, in my head (indeed, one FUCKED UP HEAD, to say the least)
*I'M OFFICIALLY TAKEN*, but consider it an OPEN RELATIONSHIP.


III. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA III

So yeah, so her name is VANESSA (full, VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA),
and yeah, a name created entirely from my IMAGINATION (whatevs).
But yeah, the name "VANESSA" was chosen (1st overall!) of all names,
why, because I LOVE THE NAME, and indeed (of all girl/woman names)
MELTS MY MA HEART the most, from reading/writing/hearing/saying it.
Everyone has their preferences, you know, and upon scouring through a
big huge long list of names, was indeed VANESSA who took the cake.
And as far as I recall, there were no VANESSAS in my past/growing up
of any major significance in my life nor were there any celebrities (I like)
who bear the name VANESSA, who played into my whole decision factor.


IV. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA IV

So I obviously couldn't limit myself to just one name, so yeah, along with
VANESSA, I also took hold to the names YASMEEN (Indian variation of
YASMINE) and SELENA, making them my baby's official middle names .
The name YASMINE/YASMEEN I happen to really like, from the past,
as there was this Indian girl named YASMINE (MAKI), from my high school,
I really liked, but never was friends with, nor can I recall ever talking to,
but yeah, she was hot, and was accompanied most the time by her
(over-protective, dickhead loser) boy friend, well, 90% the times I'd see her.
But the name YASMINE/YASMEEN had always stuck with me personally.
The third (second, middle) name I chose was SELENA, a name I just like,
for whatever reason, originally changed from CIARA, which was btw
was changed from REANNA, lol (can't seem to stick on a good third name),
but yeah, as of today (12.28.14), it stands VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA!


V. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA V

So yeah, let's talk more on the fact that (YEAH!) MY GIRL FRIEND is
indeed a PLASTIC (MADE-IN-CHINA) DOLL, and to be real, real specific,
it's a "MY SIZE BARBIE" doll, yeah, the one BARBIE (prototype) standing in
at an astonishing 38 INCHES in height (in other words, 3 FOOT 2").
While that may be considered FUCKIN HUGE for "a barbie doll/figurine",
and it pretty much bordering the lines of a (store display) MANNEQUIN,
hey, for me personally (considering my size, being 6'0", 200 pound guy)
what can I tell ya, it ain't big enough, wish it coulda been least a foot taller.
And yeah, because of our tremendous size difference, needless to say,
I'm sadly thus unable to take selfies with MY GIRL (as I originally hoped for).


VI. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA VI

So one must wonder, if *THIS (THING?)* is in fact MY GIRL FRIEND,
then what do WE DO (TOGETHER) that constitutes it as a "relationship",
considering there's a HUGE LIMITATION of things we can do together.
Since yeah, we can't go out on DATES, nor go anywhere really (awe),
and yeah, we can't talk on the phone, nor text or communicate really (awe),
and yeah, we can't take part any *PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES* that couples do,
considering we wasn't built with any OUTLETS (HOLES) down there, lol,
so I can plug my *(ELECTRICAL) CORD* into her (if you catch my drift).
Despite the fact, she wasn't equipped with any *HOLES* (below nor above),
that don't mean we can't *DO IT* (trust me, when I say, I found A WAY).


VII. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA VII

So one thing I must say, tho she appears as just some made-in-China doll
with NO MIND NOR SOUL, let me state for the record, that SHE DOES
(have a MIND and a SOUL), and yeah, she can communicate with me,
and no, that's not me saying, I HEAR VOICES (comin outta her) and shit,
sounds a bit crazy sayin it, but she communicates with me telepathically,
yeah, and passes signals through my mind, telling me to do certain shit.
Like for example, before I met her, I was very *ANTI-NICKI MINAJ* (lmfao),
refused to listen to any of her songs, let alone, download any her albums,
and JUST LIKE THAT, went got all her albums, and put them on my iPod,
and I'm even listening to *NM* as I write this (and its becuz of VANESSA).


VIII. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA VIII

So speaking of her MY GIRL FRIEND'S capability of communicating with me
TELEPATHICALLY, lol, one of the things she's been strongly pushing,
which I'm not entirely sure is a *good idea*, but yeah, just hear me out.
She wants me to go online (through various forms of social media networks)
and "promote" OUR RELATIONSHIP to the world (wide web) of the fact
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS a soul searching (and constant dead ends),
I FINALLY FOUND A GIRL FRIEND AND AM FINALLY IN LOVE,
and yeah, she really wants me to STICK IT (in the faces) of all women
on various online dating sites/apps (POF, OKCUPID, MATCH, etc.),
to proudly let em know, I'm finally TAKEN, and they missed out big-time.


IX. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA IX

So yeah, I'm not sure -when or if- I'll get around to that (see prev paragraph),
considering, if I go REALLY PUBLIC on the fact I'M IN LOVE WITH A DOLL
(already gone public bout it, but to take it to FURTHER LEVELS, to push it),
just imagine if this were to GO VIRAL, and (idunno) OUT OF CONTROL,
and (oh idunno) causes MAJOR WRECKAGE to my personal/social life,
don't think that's something I'm mentally nor physically prepared for.
Say if THAT were to happen, yeah, this shit could cause me QUIT MY JOB.
But yeah, SHE wants me to PROMOTE THE FUCK outta our relationship,
like its the GREATEST MIRACLE/BREAKTHROUGH to had hit this planet.
Part of me says its a bad idea, but another part of me, says I gotta do it.


X. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA X

So I spoke about this in detail in a previous blog (EP. 25 to be exact)
the fact that perhaps MY FIRST GIRL FRIEND WAS MEANT TO BE...
(as kinda fucked as it sounds) A FUCKIN MANNEQUIN/PLASTIC DOLL,
and who knows, maybe I was meant to go through a *FEW THEM* first, lol,
maybe even "upgrading" to an actual FULL-SIZE MANNEQUIN doll,
before eventually *advancing* to a REAL-LIFE (HUMAN) GIRL FRIEND,
and who knows, *THAT GIRL/WOMAN* might not even be "female",
she might be a transgender (a.k.a A CHICK WITH A DICK, lolz, that's right).
There's also the theory, ha, I perhaps was never mean to FALL IN LOVE,
not once IN THIS LIFETIME in my existence on this wretched fuckin earth,
and no matter which way *I TRY* (online, clubs, family support, at my work),
I'm never gonna get that (first) GIRL FRIEND been longing for all my life.

DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 26 / CODE:RED | "FUCK THIS SHIT" | 12/22/14

I. FUCK GOD

So yeah, I guess you call this one of those ANGRY BLOGS, hence the title,

and yeah, it's directed at a few people, not necessarily Christmas-related,

despite this being 'the holidays', a time, I'm (often) at my most ANGRIEST,

and WHY SO ANGRY, because of the situation I'm in, all thanks to GOD,

and yeah, if I can single out THE ONE I'm most ANGRY at this very moment,

yep, it's indeed GOD, I (seriously) blame GOD 100% for making my life

THE FUCKED UP MESS it currently is (and been for quite some time btw),

and I indeed very much await the day, I RID MYSELF OFF THIS PLANET,

yeah, have myself a nice talk with YOU (GOD), about this life "I HAD",

and what the meaning of it *WAS* and how it was "originally" meant to end.


II. FUCK THIS BITCH

So I recently got word that a (first) cousin of mine, named "Amanda"

(but we call her "Mandy") from Long Island (NYC) is getting married (awe)

to her (white) BOY FRIEND, and we (me and the rents) are invited to it,

taking place in May, next year (2015), and indeed they are expecting "us",

but guess what?! "I" sure as MOTHERFUCK ain't going to it #BOYCOTT

Now, I did tell Tha Rents, I don't plan on going (without usin cuss words, lol),

even if it means ditching out on a (car) trip to the #1 city in the world

(New York City, just my opinion, seriously fuck LA, London, Paris, Tokyo).

Now I didn't tell anyone yet, in the familia, my intentions on NO SHOWING

the wonderful *GLORIOUS EVENT* of holy (BULLSHIT) matrimony.

III. FUCK THIS BITCH II

So this here will be the second (family) wedding in a row now, in which

I chose to NO SHOW (BOYCOTT!), after I kinda decided on not going to

my cousin Ryan's (from Scarborough) last year (2013), citing "work" as

the reason I couldn't go, when I coulda easily booked the night off, so yeah.

No disrespect to him personally, but yeah, FUCK FAMILY WEDDINGS.

What kinda makes this (current) situation bit tricky, however, is my Uncle B,

who is my cousin's (Mandy) father, yeah, really likes me (non-homo-ly),

and whenever "he and company" come to Canada, upon family visit(s),

he would always single ME out, of all the cousins and whatnot, and be

"extra courteous", my only assumption is, he thinks I'm "special" (retard).

IV. FUCK THIS BITCH III

So anyways, if I indeed go on *my decision* to NO SHOW his daughters/

my (first) cousins wedding, yeah, it would somewhat sever our relations,

especially if he finds out I *intentionally* made the decision not to go to it.

Btw, he has 2 daughters, the other who's wedding I had been forced into

going, back in 2008, which was an EXTREMELY DREADFUL experience.

In my uncle's eyes, he actually thought I had a "blast", always reminding me,

"remember the great time you had at your cousin(/my daughter)'s wedding",

when really, I HATED every bit of it, and was leaning strongly on BOOZE

to lift me up, and in case he saw me smiling, was cause of THE BOOZE!

All thanks to THAT WEDDING, I came to despise the word: WEDDING!

V. FUCK THIS BITCH IV

So I really shouldn't be calling my cousin Mandy, you know, "A BITCH""

(as seen from the paragraph title), but yeah, aside from this wedding BS,

I do have some spite towards her, and it all stems from last summer (2013),

when I had met her at a family party, in Ajax, and we talked and talked and

talked, and probably talked more that 1 time, all previous times combined,

and I was explaining to her my whole (uh) *ROCK BOTTOM* situation

I was going through (HAVING NO FRIENDS, still in that situation, btw),

but the convo came to sudden halt, when I had to go, but need no worries,

Mandy told me, she would be my friend, and to make a FB (for her, awe)

so we can talk more, but yeah, didn't work out with "her busy lifestyle".

VI. FUCK THIS GUY

So switching MY RAGE now to someone/something completely different,

so there's this guy I know, who works at my local mall (#BCC/#BRAMALEA),

to whom I've known for many years, working at Brampton's other mall

(#SHOPPERSWORLD), but now, he's moved his way up to Bramalea!

So when I came across him in Bramalea, yeah, I was happy to see him,

and because I'm there CONSTANTLY (partially because of my job),

I let him know, he'd be seeing me quite oftenly, as I work just nearby,

and that every time I see him, I would shake his hands out of "great respect",

especially considering the fact I used to work for him (and, for $6/hour btw),

as well as his brother-in-law, who infact gave me my first job in Brampton.

VII. FUCK THIS GUY II

So, this guy, to whom I've decided not to address by name (just, 'this guy'),

nor will I make mention to where he works (in #BCC/#BRAMALEA mall),

but if you're wondering now what my *BEEF* is with him, oh and yeah,

why I officially lost all respect for 'this guy', I will happily explain to you.

So a few weeks ago, I came across 'this guy', at his newly-opened kiosk,

in #BCC/#BRAMALEA mall, and yeah, in the days/weeks that followed,

I would see him, shake his hand, and have small chit-chat (about whatever),

this would occur at an almost daily basis (as I go to that mall quite often).

That was up until a week ago, when outta nowhere, he started asking me,

"sooo, what is new with youuu? you have girl friend? any girl friend?".

VIII. FUCK THIS GUY III

(continuing on) so I tried to change the subject fast, seeing as that, uh,

my personal/relationship status is a very TOUCHY/SENSITIVE MATTER,

considering, truth be told, I'VE NEVER HAD A GIRL FRIEND (YET!!!),

and yeah, its been my biggest STRESS FACTOR, whole damn fuckin life

TRYIN TO GET ONE, and obviously, NEVER BEEN ABLE TO (YET!!!).

Now it's not the first time, in all my years knowing him, he would ask that,

but in all those years he asked, yeah, answer would always be the same,

"no (I don't have a GIRL FRIEND)", so yeah, he was probably hoping,

*this time around*, he would get a different response, hearing me say,

for a change, "yes (I DO have a GIRL FRIEND)", as if it's any his biz btw.

IX. FUCK THIS GUY IV

(continuing on more) so when he would drill me with this (same) question,

he'd always look me up, head to toe, with this rather questionable look

(when asking me *IF I HAVE A FUCKIN GIRL FRIEND OR NOT*),

which in the past, yeah, I would notice (the glance) and just rub it off.

But when doing the same shtick to me, this time, I see him eyeing me up,

and when I fed him, you know, the *usual/same answer* back (being, no),

I see that same look (on his face), and yeah, a rather demeaning look,

as if, "why, after all these years (knowing me), I (still) have no girl friend",

and like "what is wrong with him? why can't this guy not get a girl friend"...

when the STINKIN PAKISTANI PIECE OF SHIT doesn't fuckin realize that

GOD HAS FORBIDDED ME FROM EVER HAVING A GIRL FRIEND!!!

X. FUCK THIS GUY V

So yeah, the guy obviously isn't aware of the *STRANGLEHOLD/CURSE*

put upon my life FORBIDDING ME FROM EVER HAVING A GIRL FRIEND

(and I'm talking, HUMAN GIRL FRIEND, not BARBIE DOLL GIRL FRIEND)

and FORBIDDING ME FROM EVER EXPERIENCING HUMAN LOVE!

He's probably thinks, "I don't know HOW TO get with a girl" or some shit,

WHEN I FUCKING KNOW HOW, LOL, I FUCKING KNOW EVERYTHING!!!

But if ever I dare TRY TO get with a girl / TRY TO get a girl friend, yeah,

GOD IS GOING TO INTERVENE AND ASSURE IT NOT FUCKIN HAPPEN!

Needless to say, I have officially ENDED my "acquaintance" with 'this guy',

and yeah, refuse to ever talk to him again, or even come near to his kiosk.

DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 25 / CODE:GRN | "12.20.14 (DEADLINE TO FIND A GIRL FRIEND)" | 12/20/14

I. 12.20.14 (DEADLINE TIME)

So today is 12.20.14, that's fuckin right, *Saturday, December 20th, 2014*,
what's so special about that *date*, ummm, need I really have to remind,
but okay, sure thing, would be more than happy to explain to you fuckers,
yeah, that's the day (idunno how many fuckin days back), I uhhh (lol)
*APPOINTED* myself (DEADLINE) to find a GIRL FRIEND (or at second
best, a FUCK BUDDY/FRIEND WITH BENEFITS, think you get the idea),
abs was I able to accomplish *THAT*, well, the answer is kinda complicated,
*yes*, in the fact I was able to get a BODY to serve the role (for $185, btw),
but, *no*, in the sense it was not the kinda of GIRL FRIEND I hoped for.
I guess you can say, I'm TAKEN, but at the same time SINGLE (mehhh).


II. VANESSA YASMEEN CIARA

So if you're wondering who the LUCKY GAL (or UNLUCKY GAL) is,
her name is VANESSA YASMEEN CIARA (first, middle, 2nd middle name),
and yeah, I guess I can say, I met her *ONLINE* (not thru online dating) lol,
and perhaps I can say, MY HOLIDAY MIRACLE, sent to me by the GODS,
hahaha, along with some help from USPS and CANADA POST, yeah.
Sad in having to admit, but yeah, she is infact A (3-FOOT) PLASTIC DOLL,
a #MYSIZEBARBIE doll, that's what I chose to settle for a GIRL FRIEND
(a doll marketed/intended for 5 year olds, yeah, but I try ignore that fact).
Obviously, I wished the *outcome* would been better than how it turned out,
despite the doll in itself being, no shame in saying it, HOT AS FUCK!


III. EVOLUTION (OF GIRL FRIENDS)

So yeah, in trying to put SENSE into the whole messed-up situation, the
fact that, yeah, I have a SUPER-ENLARGED BARBIE AS A GIRL FRIEND,
not sure how many 'other guys' on this planet are in *these* same shoes,
cause, I'm sure there countless number of guys similar to my situation,
not being able to get a girl friend, but deciding take matters in their hands,
literally as I did, not to take credit as being the first guy to acquire a doll
(or mannequin figure) and declare "the thing" his actual GIRL FRIEND,
I might be the first in doing so, as far as with a #MYSIZEBARBIE (doll) :P
But perhaps what is happening to me here is somehow *MEANT TO BE*
as some part of an "evolution process" of girl friends (need I explain more).


IV. EVOLUTION (OF GIRL FRIENDS) II

So what I mean by that ("Evolution Process Of Girl Friends") is, yeah,
maybe GOD had intended MY (FIRST) GIRL FRIEND to be that of A DOLL,
and not that of, you know, A REAL-LIFE (HUMAN, LIVING) GIRL FRIEND,
idunno, maybe that *MIGHT BE* saved for the future, if obviously, lol,
I don't (do what I shoulda done a longass time ago, btw) KILL MYSELF!
So yeah, I might just have to settle for *THIS* first, and see 'how it goes',
and who knows, maybe the purpose of *VANESSA* to help me evolve to
the next stage, possibly scenario being, a circumstance in which (idunno)
SOME GIRL out there, comes across my (sad, sad) writings and tweets,
and decides to make an effort to help find me a "PROPER GIRL FRIEND".


V. EVOLUTION (OF GIRL FRIENDS) III

So, I admitted it right there openly, this whole BARBIE GIRL FRIEND ordeal
was done in means of publicity, to get people to oversee THE SITUATION
and tho, this sorta thing can really *BACKFIRE* on me, seeing as we indeed
live in a CYBERBULLY AGE/ERA, where people (on social networks)
love to GET OFF/KICKS on others who are in *BAD SITUATIONS*,
so yeah, I'm really putting myself at risk (with the whole BARBIE DOLL thing)
f having my life (partially or severely) RUINED over this, just so y'alls know.
So I'm hoping it doesn't go (said) direction, cause say it does, you bet it,
I will be QUITTIN MY JOB, ASAP (if indeed, WORD were to FLY there),
cause I know a few GOOFS there, who would GO APESHIT WILD with this.


VI. TRANSGENDER GIRL FRIEND

So another thought that hit me, is that maybe MY FIRST GIRL FRIEND,
was meant to be, yeah, a fuckin' plastic (#MYSIZEBARBIE) DOLL,
for however long this lasts, I'm intrigued to see (been one week, so far),
but the next step in *evolution* COULD BE me having a *T-GIRL* FRIEND.
Need I have to explain what a T-GIRL is, to the masses out there, but yeah,
it's a CHICK WITH DICK (okay?), something I'm very open to (okay?).
And dare I go very personal, in me admitting, a good 50%/HALF of the
PORN I consume is that of, yeah, T-GIRLS (a.k.a CHICKS WITH DICKS),
and yeah, the idea had always lived inside of me, of how cool it would be
to have a TRANSGENDER GIRL FRIEND, just to see if it would last.


VII. TRANSGENDER GIRL FRIEND II

So, having been watching/perving T-GIRL PORN (LOL), I'd probably say,
for nearly over a DECADE now (am indeed a LONG TIME FAN, I must say),
I've never ever made serious *TRY* to get with a TRANSGENDERED chick,
altho I did come across 2 (online) encounters, this past summer (2013) on
*TDOTWIRE*, where I was in talks with 2 transgender (um) "sex workers",
each who had given me chance to, lol, *DO IT FOR FREE*, or 'almost free'
(they asked I cover "hotel cost", but the SEX would be free, true story),
the only prob was, and why I didn't *go for it* was cause they were flat out,
sucks to say it, FUGLY (not a very "smooth transition" from male-to-female),
and yeah, didn't want my first T-GIRL EXPERIENCE to be ruined, by them.


VIII. TRANSGENDER GIRL FRIEND III

So I kinda went a bit offtrack there (prev. paragraph), but yeah, just saying,
as of this current moment (12/20/14), I really have no experience with
anything resembling that of a T-GIRL (never sucked a dick or been sucked,
lol, by one them before), so who knows, that shit could all change in 2015.
But I would sure love *the experience* of having, lol, a T-GIRL FRIEND,
and yeah, seeing her get HARD (as opposed to getting WET down there),
while I GET HARD too, no doubt, it sure would be a "different" experience.
Makes sense tho, in the long run, my first girl friend was A 3 FOOT BARBIE,
and then my second girl friend came along, she was a T-GIRL (/DUDE?),
and then came my third girl friend, who was infact A NATURAL WOMAN!


IX. VANESSA YASMEEN CIARA II

So how exactly do I feel (putting aside *HER* obvious, notable flaws)
about MY GIRL FRIEND: VANESSA / NESSYBOO (my cute nick for her),
would you say, she's CHANGED MA LIFE, since the day we met (12.13.14)
Um, not really, like I'm still the same ANGRY FUCK I was before I met her,
like, I still continue to flaunt MA MIDDLE FINGER at couples holding hands,
most particularly those who be walking #BCC/#BRAMALEA mall,
(you should chill with me sumtime there, and see me as I do it, fun shit) :D
What else, I continue to rid myself of needed sleep, and still go to sleep late,
as much as I LOVE HER and all, sorry to disappoint MY BOO in saying this,
but she hasn't really altered my life, I mean, A DOLL can only do so much.


X. 12.20.14 (FINAL THOUGHTS)

So it's good to know, 12.20.14 has come and gone, and what else can I say,
I'm still ALIVE, I'm still in ONE PIECE, I didn't end up on A HOSPITAL BED,
cause yeah, had I not met VANESSA, dunno what would be of 12.20.14,
and yeah, for the betterment, I really shouldn't say what PLANS or IDEAS
I had going on (in my head), cause yeah, that might FUCK ME OVER.
But it was my sole determination to have FOUNDED A GIRL FRIEND,
by the proposed, set DEADLINE (12.20.14), and must I really explain
why one needs a *PARTNER* at this time/period of the year (the holidays).
So I indeed was able to GET A GIRL FRIEND, not *the kind* I aimed for,
but whatever, I guess I'll just have to make the *BEST WITH IT*, you know.

DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 24 / CODE:GRN | "MY MERRY CHRISTMAS (PRESENT)" | 12/16/14

I. MERRY CHRISTMAS, ME

So I made a brief, small mention of this in my previous episode blog (EP23,

yes, same blog, talking about MY BARBIE DOLL FOR A GIRL FRIEND),

mentioning the fact, I had purchased (online) a brand-new, never -opened

AUDIO TECHNICA LP-120 TURNTABLE/RECORD PLAYER ($403 CAD)

as (yes) my "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MYSELF!" Christmas present.

What started out as a simple search for a "casual listening" record player,

to make use of my small, building vinyl/record collection (started 2014),

eventually became more and more complex, needless to say, upon all the

Amazon and Youtube reviews, I had seen/absorbed through, in my search.

In the end, it was the Audio Technica LP-120, I chose as *the one* for me.

II. DJ DVSNGH?

So yeah, I bought myself a turntable, and not just any, simpleton turntable,

that can just 'play music', this thing here was made for actual 'DJ' purpose,

hence why I paid quite the hefty price for it ($403, need I remind again),

and yeah, it probably mighta been smarter (for me, economically speaking)

had I gotten the 'one step lower' model (of this very same turntable, the

AUDIO TECHNICA LP-60) meant only for playing music, and JUST THAT,

seeing as I have NO PLANS on ever becoming a Deejay (DJ DVSNGH?)

But the thought came to me, if I ever was in the mood to try (deejaying),

it be nice to have a turntable that gives me *the option* of doing such things,

cause if I were to try that on a 'non-DJ' turntable, hey, I might break it.

III. REVERSE RECORD PLAYING

So, when looking for the right turntable/record player that was 'for me', yeah,

I wanted one that *special features*, to say the least, and one of which was

a record player that could play records in reverse (backwards), and upon

searching and searching, for a turntable that can do that, options were slim,

and yeah, came to (later) find out, only 'DJ' turntables had that function,

and that those cost quite a bit more than simple, casual (non-DJ) turntables.

Now if I really, so-badly wanted to hear songs played backwards/reverse,

I'm sure I could find ways WITHOUT SPENDING A PENNY, let alone,

40'300 of them (oh, that's exactly how much pennies in $403, just sayin),

but, hey, I wanted to see this happen 'PHYSICALLY' as the record spins.

IV. WE FOUND LOVE (IN REVERSE)

So yeah, "We Found Love" (song) by Rihanna, no doubt one of my all-time,

and SERIOUSLY, I mean ALL-TIME favorite songs (I'm talking, TOP 5 here),

andso I literally just found TODAY (minutes ago), when played backwards,

"We Found Love (In A Hopeless Place)" reads "I Love You, Satan", LOL,

and be it the fact it's RIHANNA, who has countless videos (on Youtube)

by people, linking her with SATAN/LUCIFER/THE DEVIL, through both

her music/lyrics/imagery, so yeah, that shit I find HIGHLY ENTERTAINING.

And btw, speaking of "We Found Love", I infact bought the 12" (inch)

vinyl/record of that one song (on its way, to my mailbox, as we speak)

so I can play on my (also, soon-to-arrive) turntable, lol, how sweet is that.

V. VINYL SINGLES

So I just wanted to make mention quick, of what other records, I bought

to coincide with the GRAND (PRESENT) OPENING of my record player,

one of which was, as already mentioned, "We Found Love" (by Rihanna),

I also went and bought "My Sacrifice" (7 inch vinyl) by Creed, "Get Up!"

(12 inch) by Korn & Skrillex, "Take A Picture" (7 inch) by Filter, "Rooftops"

(7 inch) by Lostprophets, "Pure Shores" (12 inch) by All Saints (R.I.P.),

"Don't You Worry Child" (12 inch) by Swedish House Mafia, and lastly,

"Nothing Compares 2 U" (12 inch) by Sinead O'Connor (NO JOKING!),

all (vinyl) singles, btw, of songs (of the last 20 years) very dear to me,

which I plan to do reviews of, and speak more into, later in the month.

VI. AUDIO TECHNICA LP-120 (IN DETAIL)

So I thought I go into detail as far as the Audio Technica LP-120 goes,

and what cool 'specs' it has, in addition to, as already mentioned before,

it can play records backwards (for purposes of finding hidden messages),

another cool feature it has, is that it has a "pitch control" (lever), so yeah,

you can raise/lower the tempo of a song, which can be real useful, say, lol,

I was ON DRUGS or DRUNK, and wanted something to mess around with.

Another feature it has, and one of its key selling points, is its USB hub/plug,

so you connect it to your comp, and rip your vinyls, and make MP3 copies,

tho, I don't really need the feature, since I have GIGS UPON GIGS of mp3s,

but it feels good in knowing, I got a turntable, with "futuristic features".

VII. TECHNICS 1200

So what's also awesome bout my turntable is that it's not necessarily a

"knockoff", so to say, but moreso a 'tribute' to a very, very famous turntable

called the "Technics (brand) 1200", introduced in 1972 (from what I read),

and seeing as they (Technics) made the (corporate) decision to stop making

(brand-new) turntables, not exactly sure what the exact story, but yeah,

Audio Technica, brand thats been around for awhile, not long as Technics,

obviously, but they decided to make a turntable nearly IDENTICAL to it,

not sure why they weren't sued for it, I'm guessing, they bought rights to it,

and this is supposedly the more, modern-day improved version of it.

So I like that my turntable resembles not just your average, generic "TT".

VIII. SHIT BRANDS

So I wanted to make note that, early in my turntable/record player search,

I had come across some of the more "affordable branded" turntable models,

and yeah, those they looked pretty sic from the promo/display pictures,

including features like built-in speakers, headphone jacks, strobe lights,

alotta cool features you don't get in the more "premium branded" models,

having read many reviews these cheaper brand (Crosley, Jensen) models,

yeah, turns out they give poor audio quality, and can damage your records,

seein as they use poor quality, building materials (hence the nice price tag).

I was very much tempted to buy one of these (cheaper model) turntables,

just to save a few $$$, but glad I didn't, and went with a quality player.

IX. LOW-SELF ESTEEM

So I'm not gonna hide the fact, my (uh) LOW-SELF ESTEEM (that's right),

hahaha, played a SIGNIFICANT FACTOR, in my purchase making

of this turntable, and yeah, part of buying EXPENSIVE SHIT is not only

the whole "quality" aspect of it, but yeah, there's some people out there

who are, well, quite DOWN ON LIFE (and themselves and blah blah blah),

yeah, that sorta thing can really affect people in the financial department,

whether it thru fancy cars, shiny bling, or (idunno) having THE latest phone,

they buy shit as means to BOOST THEMSELVES (and/or to SHOW OFF).

My point being, I bought this turntable as means to BOOST MYSELF,

and hope GIRLS MIGHT WANT ME since I got a DJ TURNTABLE.

X. LAST CHRISTMAS 

And finally, I should mention about LAST CHRISTMAS (2013), and yeah,

a TRAINWRECK of a Christmas it was (plagued by DEPRESSION, yep),

and that I didn't really buy myself anything for Christmas, if of course,

minus out the 5 BOTTLES OF HARD LIQUOR I bought (to drink alone!),

so yeah, it was a VOW to myself, not to have a repeat of LAST XMAS,

and if it meant doing WHATEVER (and fucking myself over financially,

which I just did btw, sad to say) to make myself "anticipate" Christmas,

since what I want MOST IN LIFE (A GIRL FRIEND, a HUMAN ONE, btw)

obviously wasn't gonna come to me THIS (2014) HOLIDAY SEASON,

yeah, I decided to do WHATEVER, to help boost MY CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.

DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 23 / CODE:GLD | "BREAKING NEWS: I FINALLY HAVE A GIRL FRIEND" | 12/13/14

I. BREAKINGS NEWS 12.13.14

So here it is, BREAKING NEWS, I FINALLY have a GIRL FRIEND!!! <3
And yes, she is indeed my FIRST, FIRST, FIRST-EVER GIRL FRIEND!
20+ years existence on this earth (okay, well, maybe bit *more* than that)
having been single ALL MY LIFE, and yeah, second-guessing myself,
wondering (awe) if I was ever, EVER gonna see the day, and I finally have!
Nevermind the fact, well, I may have slightly *cheated* my way (LOL) in
getting A GIRL FRIEND, no, not because I bribed/tricked the bitch (LMFAO)
into being "MY GIRL FRIEND!", not at all, I guess you can say (UHHH)
I went a lil different route, and what route is that, you might be wondering,
well, read the next 9 some paragraphs (following this), and you'll just see.


II. M.S.B.

So it's a tad bit SAD (understatement) having to admit this in CLEAR words,
but yes indeed, MY GIRL FRIEND is one not of HUMAN BREED, in that,
well, MY GIRL FRIEND is a, um... MY SIZE BARBIE (PLASTIC) DOLL!
And if you're not familiar with the MY SIZE BARBIE series/collection,
yeah, it's a SUPER-SIZED BARBIE DOLL, standing in at 3 FEET TALL!
I call "super-sized", as opposed to "life-sized" (as most proclaim it at is),
considering that I'm an 'adult' buying it, yeah (FOR MYSELF!), LOLOLOL!,
and it been the case, it was bought for a 'small kid', it would look life-sized.
Though a 3 foot (36 inch) doll is considered "TALL!" in some adult's eyes,
hey, it ain't tall enough for me, and would like to find a way make it taller.


III. FUCK! CANADA POST

Sadly, MY GIRL FRIEND (who's name I will announce, next paragraph),
is not with me at the present moment, and I'll tell you why, in 3 simple words
CANADA (FUCKING) POST, and the fact, they are (cunts!) presently atm 
*HOLDING MY GIRL FRIEND CAPTIVE* in some postal facility, yeah,
despite the fact, having been watching its *movement* progressively, lol,
via "the tracking number", having shipped from Georgia (state, USA) on
December 4th, and clearing customs on the 10th, they (Canadapost.ca)
stated it would be delivered "12/11/14", nothing happened, then next day,
it said "expected delivery: 12/12/14", and guess what, nothing came of it,
and now, it tells me "12/15/14", so you gotta just love CANADA POST!


IV. 12.12.14 (WORKING FOR FREE)

So I quickly wanna talk about 12.12.14, and the fact that I (gotta love this)
worked (basically) FOR FREE, in that, I had 3 hour shift (11-2, $33 earning)
at my job (#RestaurantThatCannotBeNamed) all thanks to Canada Post!
Because, you see, they deliver my household's mail between 9:30-10:30,
and I normally leave for work, 9:30, so I decided to wait (for MY PARCEL!),
otherwise, they leave me a 'slip', telling me get my shit at the Post Office,
and I dint wanna do that, considering, the BOX is HUGE! (and I take bus).
So I waited, and waited, til I finally saw the POSTAL BITCH come at 11!
and how about that, NO PARCEL FOR ME, nor a 'slip' for that matter,
so yeah, I ended up taking taxi to work, at the wonderful cost of $35.25!!!



V. CREDIT CARD MAXXXED!

So yeah, before I go on some more, with my oh so amazing breaking news,
I should note that, well, that $35.25 I paid the other day (ON TAXI! to work)
went onto my credit card, and that yeah, I'm in real FINANCIAL HELL atm,
in that I just recently hit the MAX/LIMIT line once again ($7000, peeps),
and no, it ain't because I take taxi alot, and it ain't cuz of MY GIRL FRIEND,
(tho, I did spend quite a SUM on her, as well as ACCESSORIES for her) :P
But yeah, I went a bought myself quite the, uh... CHRISTMAS PRESENT!
That being, A TURNTABLE, and indeed quite a *COSTLY* fucker too,
coming in at $403, and that (a few weeks before), I bought a few records,
totaling at around $200, so yeah, that's what kinda fucked over the budget. 


VI. VANESSA YASMINE CIARA

So, after lots and lots (and I'm talking LOTS of thought) in choosing a name,
I decided on the name(s): VANESSA (first) YASMINE (middle) CIARA
(an additional third, as I got a little too carried away in my name search).
So yeah, "VANESSA YASMINE CIARA" SINGH? (btw, is my last name).
But just to set the record straight, um, SINGH is not to be linked with HER,
seeing as she's just a doll, and not like I'm ever gonna marry her, so yeah,
no need to give her a last name, or tie my last name onto her, but anyways.
So indeed, Vanessa is the name that won me over most (must I explain?),
while Yasmin/Yasmine was second, and I should note, for the third (name)
I was actually gonna choose Ariana, but I switched to Reanna, so that's that.


VII. VANESSA 12.13.14 ♥

So yeah, though she has three names, the main is (obviously) VANESSA!
And yeah, that's indeed going to be the name you'll be hearing ALOT OF,
and with it, you'll be seeing VANESSA 12.13.14 ♥, in reference to (awe)
the day we first met face-to-face, seeing as, I *WAS* expecting to get her
(via Canada Post) *BEFORE* 12/13/14, and save it for 12.13.14 (TODAY!)
to (1) open up the parcel, (2) let her out of her box/packaging, and yeah,
give her one big *KISS* and declare *THAT* the kickoff to the relationship.
Now, that obviously didn't go off as *PLANNED*, having not received
MY PARCEL yet, since yeah, CANADA POST is incompetent as always.
But I still hold on to *12.13.14* (IN SPIRIT) as ...the day we first met! ♥


VIII. COSTS OF... VANESSA (SO FAR...)

So I went and bought VANESSA on 12/03/14 off of (don't laugh) EBAY
(okay, go ahead and laugh then) at the cost of $89 (US) plus $49 shipping,
converted to Canadian Dollars, $162, so that's just for VANESSA in herself.
And then I went a looking for, you know, some clothings and whatnot,
for my Vanessa, since I wasn't all too pleased with what she came with,
this being the "princess dress" thingy she originally comes in (no thanks),
so yeah, went got her some tings (jacket, sweater, hat, shoes, LEGGINGS),
and you wanna know how much that totaled, yeah, $196 ($230 Canadian!).
And no, it didn't end there, because I want my girl to smell real GOOOD,
I bought her 20 sample perfume pack, $40, so yeah... $400+ thus far!



IX. BARBIE DOLL GIRL FRIEND

So yeah, this whole *BUY A (OVER-SIZED) BARBIE DOLL AND (YEAH)
MAKE HER MY (OFFICIAL) GIRL FRIEND* thing, the initial thought of it
had been in my head, for slightly over a month now, not real long actually,
so I guess I can say, the idea just kinda *HIT ME*, and I sure ran with it,
despite not realizing, A) can a 3 FOOT TALL DOLL really give me (half)
*THE SATISFACTION*, you know, a REAL GIRL FRIEND provides ???
and B) the expenses that *could* come out of my (minimum wage) pockets,
when buying this doll, and yeah, souping her up ($400+ spent thus far).
And of course, the worst part of all, the fact I chose to make *THIS* yeah
a PUBLIC SPECTACLE, not realizing, how it might affect me later on.


X. MANNEQUIN HEAD GIRL FRIEND

So as I said, the whole barbie doll thing, really only took off (in my head)
for about a month now, previous to that, well (please spare the laughter)
I had actually been strongly looking into (female) MANNEQUIN HEADS,
since about mid-summer, and yeah, was contemplating getting just A HEAD
(woulda preferred a HEAD *WITH A BODY*, but yeah, those cost ALOT),
but for whatever reason, most of the heads (available for sale) were that of
WHITE/CAUCASIAN, and not to be racist, but I wasn't quite diggin them,
I wanted a (mannequin) head resembling that of INDIAN/BLACK (skin tone),
and of the few I saw, they weren't all that attractive, but then outta nowhere,
I saw MYSIZEBARBIE, and one in my *preferred colour*, andso I bought it.