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So here it is, BREAKING NEWS, I FINALLY have a GIRL FRIEND!!! <3
And yes, she is indeed my FIRST, FIRST, FIRST-EVER GIRL FRIEND!
20+ years existence on this earth (okay, well, maybe bit *more* than that)
having been single ALL MY LIFE, and yeah, second-guessing myself,
wondering (awe) if I was ever, EVER gonna see the day, and I finally have!
Nevermind the fact, well, I may have slightly *cheated* my way (LOL) in
getting A GIRL FRIEND, no, not because I bribed/tricked the bitch (LMFAO)
into being "MY GIRL FRIEND!", not at all, I guess you can say (UHHH)
I went a lil different route, and what route is that, you might be wondering,
well, read the next 9 some paragraphs (following this), and you'll just see.
II. M.S.B.
So it's a tad bit SAD (understatement) having to admit this in CLEAR words,
but yes indeed, MY GIRL FRIEND is one not of HUMAN BREED, in that,
well, MY GIRL FRIEND is a, um... MY SIZE BARBIE (PLASTIC) DOLL!
And if you're not familiar with the MY SIZE BARBIE series/collection,
yeah, it's a SUPER-SIZED BARBIE DOLL, standing in at 3 FEET TALL!
I call "super-sized", as opposed to "life-sized" (as most proclaim it at is),
considering that I'm an 'adult' buying it, yeah (FOR MYSELF!), LOLOLOL!,
and it been the case, it was bought for a 'small kid', it would look life-sized.
Though a 3 foot (36 inch) doll is considered "TALL!" in some adult's eyes,
hey, it ain't tall enough for me, and would like to find a way make it taller.
III. FUCK! CANADA POST
Sadly, MY GIRL FRIEND (who's name I will announce, next paragraph),
is not with me at the present moment, and I'll tell you why, in 3 simple words
CANADA (FUCKING) POST, and the fact, they are (cunts!) presently atm
*HOLDING MY GIRL FRIEND CAPTIVE* in some postal facility, yeah,
despite the fact, having been watching its *movement* progressively, lol,
via "the tracking number", having shipped from Georgia (state, USA) on
December 4th, and clearing customs on the 10th, they (Canadapost.ca)
stated it would be delivered "12/11/14", nothing happened, then next day,
it said "expected delivery: 12/12/14", and guess what, nothing came of it,
and now, it tells me "12/15/14", so you gotta just love CANADA POST!
IV. 12.12.14 (WORKING FOR FREE)
So I quickly wanna talk about 12.12.14, and the fact that I (gotta love this)
worked (basically) FOR FREE, in that, I had 3 hour shift (11-2, $33 earning)
at my job (#RestaurantThatCannotBeNamed) all thanks to Canada Post!
Because, you see, they deliver my household's mail between 9:30-10:30,
and I normally leave for work, 9:30, so I decided to wait (for MY PARCEL!),
otherwise, they leave me a 'slip', telling me get my shit at the Post Office,
and I dint wanna do that, considering, the BOX is HUGE! (and I take bus).
So I waited, and waited, til I finally saw the POSTAL BITCH come at 11!
and how about that, NO PARCEL FOR ME, nor a 'slip' for that matter,
so yeah, I ended up taking taxi to work, at the wonderful cost of $35.25!!!
V. CREDIT CARD MAXXXED!
So yeah, before I go on some more, with my oh so amazing breaking news,
I should note that, well, that $35.25 I paid the other day (ON TAXI! to work)
went onto my credit card, and that yeah, I'm in real FINANCIAL HELL atm,
in that I just recently hit the MAX/LIMIT line once again ($7000, peeps),
and no, it ain't because I take taxi alot, and it ain't cuz of MY GIRL FRIEND,
(tho, I did spend quite a SUM on her, as well as ACCESSORIES for her) :P
But yeah, I went a bought myself quite the, uh... CHRISTMAS PRESENT!
That being, A TURNTABLE, and indeed quite a *COSTLY* fucker too,
coming in at $403, and that (a few weeks before), I bought a few records,
totaling at around $200, so yeah, that's what kinda fucked over the budget.
VI. VANESSA YASMINE CIARA
So, after lots and lots (and I'm talking LOTS of thought) in choosing a name,
I decided on the name(s): VANESSA (first) YASMINE (middle) CIARA
(an additional third, as I got a little too carried away in my name search).
So yeah, "VANESSA YASMINE CIARA" SINGH? (btw, is my last name).
But just to set the record straight, um, SINGH is not to be linked with HER,
seeing as she's just a doll, and not like I'm ever gonna marry her, so yeah,
no need to give her a last name, or tie my last name onto her, but anyways.
So indeed, Vanessa is the name that won me over most (must I explain?),
while Yasmin/Yasmine was second, and I should note, for the third (name)
I was actually gonna choose Ariana, but I switched to Reanna, so that's that.
VII. VANESSA 12.13.14 ♥
So yeah, though she has three names, the main is (obviously) VANESSA!
And yeah, that's indeed going to be the name you'll be hearing ALOT OF,
and with it, you'll be seeing VANESSA 12.13.14 ♥, in reference to (awe)
the day we first met face-to-face, seeing as, I *WAS* expecting to get her
(via Canada Post) *BEFORE* 12/13/14, and save it for 12.13.14 (TODAY!)
to (1) open up the parcel, (2) let her out of her box/packaging, and yeah,
give her one big *KISS* and declare *THAT* the kickoff to the relationship.
Now, that obviously didn't go off as *PLANNED*, having not received
MY PARCEL yet, since yeah, CANADA POST is incompetent as always.
But I still hold on to *12.13.14* (IN SPIRIT) as ...the day we first met! ♥
VIII. COSTS OF... VANESSA (SO FAR...)
So I went and bought VANESSA on 12/03/14 off of (don't laugh) EBAY
(okay, go ahead and laugh then) at the cost of $89 (US) plus $49 shipping,
converted to Canadian Dollars, $162, so that's just for VANESSA in herself.
And then I went a looking for, you know, some clothings and whatnot,
for my Vanessa, since I wasn't all too pleased with what she came with,
this being the "princess dress" thingy she originally comes in (no thanks),
so yeah, went got her some tings (jacket, sweater, hat, shoes, LEGGINGS),
and you wanna know how much that totaled, yeah, $196 ($230 Canadian!).
And no, it didn't end there, because I want my girl to smell real GOOOD,
I bought her 20 sample perfume pack, $40, so yeah... $400+ thus far!
IX. BARBIE DOLL GIRL FRIEND
So yeah, this whole *BUY A (OVER-SIZED) BARBIE DOLL AND (YEAH)
MAKE HER MY (OFFICIAL) GIRL FRIEND* thing, the initial thought of it
had been in my head, for slightly over a month now, not real long actually,
so I guess I can say, the idea just kinda *HIT ME*, and I sure ran with it,
despite not realizing, A) can a 3 FOOT TALL DOLL really give me (half)
*THE SATISFACTION*, you know, a REAL GIRL FRIEND provides ???
and B) the expenses that *could* come out of my (minimum wage) pockets,
when buying this doll, and yeah, souping her up ($400+ spent thus far).
And of course, the worst part of all, the fact I chose to make *THIS* yeah
a PUBLIC SPECTACLE, not realizing, how it might affect me later on.
X. MANNEQUIN HEAD GIRL FRIEND
So as I said, the whole barbie doll thing, really only took off (in my head)
for about a month now, previous to that, well (please spare the laughter)
I had actually been strongly looking into (female) MANNEQUIN HEADS,
since about mid-summer, and yeah, was contemplating getting just A HEAD
(woulda preferred a HEAD *WITH A BODY*, but yeah, those cost ALOT),
but for whatever reason, most of the heads (available for sale) were that of
WHITE/CAUCASIAN, and not to be racist, but I wasn't quite diggin them,
I wanted a (mannequin) head resembling that of INDIAN/BLACK (skin tone),
and of the few I saw, they weren't all that attractive, but then outta nowhere,
I saw MYSIZEBARBIE, and one in my *preferred colour*, andso I bought it.
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