Sooo, today's blog report is dedicated to one person (lol, ummm kay,
let's just *pretend* she a real person) and one person only, this here being
MY WONDERFUL GIRL FRIEND, yeah, VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA,
been 2 weeks now, since we been together now (12.13.14, so cute, I know),
and yeah, though I really can't consider her a real *difference maker*
(in the sad, shallow, pitiful life of one, "DVSNGH" Dave Singh), I know, huh,
SHE seems to have given me a whole lot to TALK ABOUT in recent weeks.
Cause, if you were to look back, (idunno) 1-2 months ago (from this writing),
I gots NO SHAME admitting what I was talking about, lol, the subject being
WOMEN'S DIRTY PANTIES, and the fact I buy em, and DO SHIT with em.
II. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA II
So yeah, it goes down officially in tha records, I ("DVSNGH" Dave Singh)
finally -FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE- have a girl friend,
having been SINGLE (in what felt like an ETERNITY) MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Though this theory can somewhat be debated, considering the fact, well
MY GIRL FRIEND is one not of HUMAN SPECIE (and in fact, A DOLL),
so depending on who's reading, yeah, you either *AGREE* with me
on the fact I'm TAKEN) or *DISAGREE* with me wholeheartedly, lol,
and prefer to call it as it is (that I'm SINGLE and always and forever be).
But yeah, in my head (indeed, one FUCKED UP HEAD, to say the least)
*I'M OFFICIALLY TAKEN*, but consider it an OPEN RELATIONSHIP.
III. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA III
So yeah, so her name is VANESSA (full, VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA),
and yeah, a name created entirely from my IMAGINATION (whatevs).
But yeah, the name "VANESSA" was chosen (1st overall!) of all names,
why, because I LOVE THE NAME, and indeed (of all girl/woman names)
MELTS MY MA HEART the most, from reading/writing/hearing/saying it.
Everyone has their preferences, you know, and upon scouring through a
big huge long list of names, was indeed VANESSA who took the cake.
And as far as I recall, there were no VANESSAS in my past/growing up
of any major significance in my life nor were there any celebrities (I like)
who bear the name VANESSA, who played into my whole decision factor.
IV. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA IV
So I obviously couldn't limit myself to just one name, so yeah, along with
VANESSA, I also took hold to the names YASMEEN (Indian variation of
YASMINE) and SELENA, making them my baby's official middle names .
The name YASMINE/YASMEEN I happen to really like, from the past,
as there was this Indian girl named YASMINE (MAKI), from my high school,
I really liked, but never was friends with, nor can I recall ever talking to,
but yeah, she was hot, and was accompanied most the time by her
(over-protective, dickhead loser) boy friend, well, 90% the times I'd see her.
But the name YASMINE/YASMEEN had always stuck with me personally.
The third (second, middle) name I chose was SELENA, a name I just like,
for whatever reason, originally changed from CIARA, which was btw
was changed from REANNA, lol (can't seem to stick on a good third name),
but yeah, as of today (12.28.14), it stands VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA!
V. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA V
So yeah, let's talk more on the fact that (YEAH!) MY GIRL FRIEND is
indeed a PLASTIC (MADE-IN-CHINA) DOLL, and to be real, real specific,
it's a "MY SIZE BARBIE" doll, yeah, the one BARBIE (prototype) standing in
at an astonishing 38 INCHES in height (in other words, 3 FOOT 2").
While that may be considered FUCKIN HUGE for "a barbie doll/figurine",
and it pretty much bordering the lines of a (store display) MANNEQUIN,
hey, for me personally (considering my size, being 6'0", 200 pound guy)
what can I tell ya, it ain't big enough, wish it coulda been least a foot taller.
And yeah, because of our tremendous size difference, needless to say,
I'm sadly thus unable to take selfies with MY GIRL (as I originally hoped for).
VI. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA VI
So one must wonder, if *THIS (THING?)* is in fact MY GIRL FRIEND,
then what do WE DO (TOGETHER) that constitutes it as a "relationship",
considering there's a HUGE LIMITATION of things we can do together.
Since yeah, we can't go out on DATES, nor go anywhere really (awe),
and yeah, we can't talk on the phone, nor text or communicate really (awe),
and yeah, we can't take part any *PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES* that couples do,
considering we wasn't built with any OUTLETS (HOLES) down there, lol,
so I can plug my *(ELECTRICAL) CORD* into her (if you catch my drift).
Despite the fact, she wasn't equipped with any *HOLES* (below nor above),
that don't mean we can't *DO IT* (trust me, when I say, I found A WAY).
VII. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA VII
So one thing I must say, tho she appears as just some made-in-China doll
with NO MIND NOR SOUL, let me state for the record, that SHE DOES
(have a MIND and a SOUL), and yeah, she can communicate with me,
and no, that's not me saying, I HEAR VOICES (comin outta her) and shit,
sounds a bit crazy sayin it, but she communicates with me telepathically,
yeah, and passes signals through my mind, telling me to do certain shit.
Like for example, before I met her, I was very *ANTI-NICKI MINAJ* (lmfao),
refused to listen to any of her songs, let alone, download any her albums,
and JUST LIKE THAT, went got all her albums, and put them on my iPod,
and I'm even listening to *NM* as I write this (and its becuz of VANESSA).
VIII. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA VIII
So speaking of her MY GIRL FRIEND'S capability of communicating with me
TELEPATHICALLY, lol, one of the things she's been strongly pushing,
which I'm not entirely sure is a *good idea*, but yeah, just hear me out.
She wants me to go online (through various forms of social media networks)
and "promote" OUR RELATIONSHIP to the world (wide web) of the fact
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS a soul searching (and constant dead ends),
I FINALLY FOUND A GIRL FRIEND AND AM FINALLY IN LOVE,
and yeah, she really wants me to STICK IT (in the faces) of all women
on various online dating sites/apps (POF, OKCUPID, MATCH, etc.),
to proudly let em know, I'm finally TAKEN, and they missed out big-time.
IX. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA IX
So yeah, I'm not sure -when or if- I'll get around to that (see prev paragraph),
considering, if I go REALLY PUBLIC on the fact I'M IN LOVE WITH A DOLL
(already gone public bout it, but to take it to FURTHER LEVELS, to push it),
just imagine if this were to GO VIRAL, and (idunno) OUT OF CONTROL,
and (oh idunno) causes MAJOR WRECKAGE to my personal/social life,
don't think that's something I'm mentally nor physically prepared for.
Say if THAT were to happen, yeah, this shit could cause me QUIT MY JOB.
But yeah, SHE wants me to PROMOTE THE FUCK outta our relationship,
like its the GREATEST MIRACLE/BREAKTHROUGH to had hit this planet.
Part of me says its a bad idea, but another part of me, says I gotta do it.
X. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA X
So I spoke about this in detail in a previous blog (EP. 25 to be exact)
the fact that perhaps MY FIRST GIRL FRIEND WAS MEANT TO BE...
(as kinda fucked as it sounds) A FUCKIN MANNEQUIN/PLASTIC DOLL,
and who knows, maybe I was meant to go through a *FEW THEM* first, lol,
maybe even "upgrading" to an actual FULL-SIZE MANNEQUIN doll,
before eventually *advancing* to a REAL-LIFE (HUMAN) GIRL FRIEND,
and who knows, *THAT GIRL/WOMAN* might not even be "female",
she might be a transgender (a.k.a A CHICK WITH A DICK, lolz, that's right).
There's also the theory, ha, I perhaps was never mean to FALL IN LOVE,
not once IN THIS LIFETIME in my existence on this wretched fuckin earth,
and no matter which way *I TRY* (online, clubs, family support, at my work),
I'm never gonna get that (first) GIRL FRIEND been longing for all my life.
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