DIZTURBIA.COM | SPECIAL / CODE:WHI | "EXCLUSIVE: DVSNGH DATING PROFILE" | 08/04/14

I. BELOW-STANDARD /// MIND

Hello, and thank you for checking out my very special DATING PROFILE,
yes, this RIGHT HERE is infact my 'dating profile', hosted exclusively on my
site, ISSUEZZ.COM, I even made a special link at: DATING.ISSUEZZ.COM
Which is funny, when you read it "Dating.Issuezz.Com", since (you know),
what female in their right mind would seriously wanna date such (you know)
LOSER! JOKE! RETARD! (got one better) FUCKTARD! (you get my point).
Hence, why I set the title of this dating profile as BELOW-STANDARD, since
yes, I am below the standards of what the today's 'ladies' want in 'their man'.
And hence, the fact, why I haven't had "face-to-face" success with a female,
since the year 2009, in addition, to never having a GIRL FRIEND all my life.


II. IN-DEPTH PROFILE /// MIND

So not only is this a DATING PROFILE, it's also a very IN-DEPTH one too,
to say the very least, this RIGHT HERE being only just 'PARAGRAPH 2' of
what is set to be, indeed, a 30 PARAGRAPH long, in-depth "dating profile",
broken down into 3 main sections: MIND (which is where we're at right now),
BODY (where I go in-depth about things relating to my body and lifestyle),
and SOUL (where I go in-depth about with my beliefs and all that bullshit).
But yeah, I plan to go FULL OUT in this profile, and it will be full of amazing
moments where I admit things that are best NOT to be admitted (publicly).
Despite my intentions in doing this IS to try to get some girl/woman out there
to *WANT ME*, yeah, I will no doubt prove why it is I shouldn't be wanted.


III. MINDSET /// MIND

So yeah, uh, I am indeed NOT a very well-liked and respected individual
when it comes to the online scene, not just 'online dating scene', but yeah,
'online' from a general standpoint, indeed, due to the way I conduct myself.
People say I'm "crazy", some people (without knowing me, let alone, never
talking to me ONCE) say I'm on 'this drug or that drug' ("meds"), and yeah,
I have to be 'on something' in order for me to 'come off' the way that I do.
Truth is, I'M NOT 'ON ANYTHING', what's coming outta me is all natural.
But, whether its 'rumours/shit-talk' (people have said/made-up about me)'
or indeed, the fucked-up things I say/do (at times), what the hell can I say,
I got quite the 'bad reputation', perhaps explaining, why my mind is as such.


IV. DRUGS /// MIND

While I'm on the topic of DRUGS, seeing as, people like to link me to them,
eventho I am not on any psychotropic drugs (anti-depressant, anti-anxiety),
nor am I active in any recreational drugs (marijuana, crack, heroine, LSD),
I am currently linked up with one 'drug', as we speak, which is sleeping pills,
helped to combat INSOMNIA (inability to go to sleep naturally), which yes,
I've had 10+ years now, and yes indeedy, as those years had gone by,
my reach for the drug (diphenhydramine) has gone up, to the point now,
well, I take them (sleeping pills) EVERY NIGHT, and quite simply because
"(The Problems Of) Life..." has consumed my very well-being, and has left
me discontent, and unable to sleep (with ease), thus laying restless in bed.


V. CONFIDENCE /// MIND

So 'some people' are led to the fast conclusion (based off things I say)
that I am a person plagued with a low self-confidence, or a low self-esteem,
whatever you call it, and for one to have (and expose) such personality flaw,
they (this including, me) are singlehandedly screwing themselves over
(of what goals they have in life, in my case, FINDING A GIRL FRIEND).
Now, just because (for one example) I proclaim that I, yes infact, am UGLY,
this isn't the actions of an individual suffering from a 'lack of confidence',
I am stating the OBVIOUS FACT I am UGLY, and yes indeed, it plays a
HUGE FACTOR (among a list of others) in why I can't get a GF or get laid.
But my confidence is very much INTACT (just to set the record straight).


VI. MUSIC /// MIND

So yeah, if the problem isn't 'confidence', nor is it a simple case of me being
(you know) *fucked outta mind* by some sorta 'drug', what else could it be,
causing me to be the FUCKNUT that I am, hmm, need I have to look harder.
Perhaps there's a theory, my preference in MUSIC has some to do with it,
seeing as I am a big fan of the ROCK N' ROLL (from the age of 10 on up).
Starting out innocently, liking bands like U2, Guns N' Roses & Def Leppard,
before entering 'the dark side' of music (bands like MARILYN MANSON!),
and here I am now in 2014, where ASKING ALEXANDRIA reigns supreme.
Though I do support a wide range of music (inc. hip-hop, EDM, and pop),
it's rock, and the sound of LOUD, INCESSANT guitars that owns my ears!


VII. WORK /// MIND

So we all (most of us) have our jobs, and indeed, not all of us like our jobs,
but we still gotta do it, and if it makes you feel better BITCHING about it
(just to let off some steam) as is the case with me, then yeah, you do that!
With my job, being a DISHWASHER at a restaurant, what can I say,
it has its "UPS" and "DOWNS", and yeah, I would say it's a good 50/50 :P
The job is indeed PHYSICAL, especially upon busy times, needless to say,
I'm HURTIN by the end of the night, in addition to being mentally exhausted.
In addition to 'the work' itself, there's also 'the scenery' aspect of things,
being that I work at a place where GUYS bring their GIRL FRIENDS (awe)
and yeah, considering "my condition", it very much KILLS ME inside :)


VIII. 21 /// MIND

Quite sad it is, that I have come to the point in life, in that I can no longer
acknowledge *my age*, and indeed, I am now resorted to 'faking my age'.
Yes, just to clarify, I am NOT 21 years old (and am that of an *older age*).
Now, this is where I would say, if you 'ASK ME' (privately) 'I will tell you'
(no problemos), but you know what, FUCK IT, 21 is the way it's gonna be.
In a way, I am 21, if you were to 'do the math'... now let's some math here!
If you were to take my actual AGE, let's just say, it starts with a (fuck it!),
but the fact, that I dress like (and been told it many times) a 16 year old,
ontop the fact, people (at my workplace) say I act like a stupid 12 year old,
if you combine all 3 ages, and then divide it by 3, it would amount to 21.


IX. GOD (PART 1) /// MIND

So yeah, there no doubt, I have lots of ANGER, HATRED & RESENTMENT
built up inside me, and yeah, it's a FIRE lit up since my very childhood.
And throughout my life, and the many misfortunes, what can I really say.
I had the 'blame finger' pointed in all directions, one of which being, myself,
feeling as if "I" was to blame for 'shit happening', but you know what, fuck it.
I had the blame finger point at BITCHES, oh sorry, I meant to say 'ladies',
for finding 'whatever reason(s)' not to like/want me, but really, fuck that.
But it took me a while to smarten up, in realizing who is truly at fault, GOD,
being that he is the almighty 'story writer' of ALL our lives on this earth,
making us do what it is we do, and indeed, why I possess such mindset.


X. UNTITLED /// MIND

So what can I say people, this right here, what you reading RIGHT HERE,
could very well be my last SERIOUS, HARD attempt at a "dating profile",
after this, idunno, may very well be close to *throwing in the towel* time
for me and the whole "online dating" thing, I mean, especially considering,
it's been a FULL 10 YEARS now, since I been 'putting myself out there',
having tried nearly EVERY DATING/SOCIAL SITE that had ever existed,
and to no luck, in addition to being UTTERLY HOPELESS, when comes to
me and the opposite sex 'off the computer' (ie. clubs, malls, bus stops, etc.),
tho it's just a "thought", hey, what you think about me just HANGING IT UP,
not only giving up trying find a girl, but yeah, giving up on LIFE completely?

I. WTF /// BODY

If you wanna see some real cool shit, then look no further, than my tummy!
That's right, LMBO (Laugh My Belly Off), what you see is indeed ma tummy!
Quite the S.A.D. sight it is, and yeah, been like THAT for many many years.
Needless to say, I don't *work out*, and very much lack 'the motivation' to.
Maybe if I had a "GIRL FRIEND", then yeah, shit mighta been alot different.
Interesting, how I have such stomach, yet I can wear a SIZE MEDIUM t-shirt,
no problem, and in some cases, a Large GUESS (brand) button-up shirt,
and most people don't notice (you know, the gut), unless they look real hard.
But yeah, sorry to let *some ladies* down (understatement), to the fact,
I don't got abs, and instead, I got me them FLABS (like, fuck joe 6-pack!)


II. PENIS /// BODY

So, if you're wondering, if it could get any worse than my (uh) GUT,
than look no further than (you guessed it) my PENIS/DICK/COCK!
And the fact that, yeah, I don't quite 'cut it' in the (um) size department :P
Although I wouldn't really consider it 'that' short, as compared to other men,
still, woulda been sweet if it coulda been at least 'half inch' lengths longer.
But yeah, I believe its no more than 6 INCHES, at its very (um) HARDEST.
While I think it's small, I have had 2 'eye witnesses' *cough* (hookers),
claiming it ain't small, with one, as a matter of fact 'deepthroating' me,
in an effort to, I guess, prove her point that my PENIS isn't that small.
But yeah, if (my) 5 AND A HALF INCHES doesn't cut it fir you, I'm sorry.


III. EYES /// BODY

So another thing interesting to note about me, as far as anything bodywise,
would be my eyes, and indeed the fact, something ain't right about them.
One, being that I don't have 20/20 vision, and have rather poor eyesight.
I was prescribed glasses at a young age and supposed to been wearing
them regularly, but yeah, because I thought I looked (more) UGLIER
in them, I refused to wear them, except for at work or on the computer.
And the other thing, concerning the eyes, is the rather strange anomaly
of me being just unable to make basic 'eye contact' with people.
And according to my beliefs, this causes a huge negative rift between
myself and other individuals, when communicating for the first time.


IV. SMILE /// BODY

So this one is probably a bit of a downer to hear, perhaps more than
my (uh) lacking in penis size (lol), the fact I don't smile all too much often.
Most instances in which I do smile (and laugh), it comes at the expense
of something *negative* (in bad taste) as opposed those that are positive.
And yeah, when I'm down/upset/pissed, it pretty much shows in my face.
Like for example, if I was walking abouts with my music on, feelin good,
and suddenly I see young couple holding hands or group of pretty girls,
my expression changes the very instance (from blue skies to grey skies).
It's been often said, I hold the expression of one headed to a funeral,
and yeah, had I had a "GIRL FRIEND", maybe I would smile more often :)


V. FACE /// BODY

So as you can see from the pictures, yeah, I'm not too attractive looking.
Though I tend to be my #1 worst enemy when it comes to "my looks",
I have every right to be, considering the fact all my pictures are self-shot,
and yeah, for every 10 pictures I take (of my face), only 1 comes out alright,
and let's see, if my math is right here, for every 25 pictures I take (lol),
1 looks 'passable' to bring public (upload) for the world (and girls) to see.
But yeah, considering how, I don't get replies from 9 out of 10 BITCHES
I send messages to, as well as the fact, I rarely ever receive compliments
(on my pics), not to mention, when I'm in public and I look at girls,
and they turns her head away, proof couldn't be more obvious, I'm ugly.


VI. OVERALL /// BODY

I gotta say, overall, my body should be idealistically what girls/women want,
coming in at an height of 6' 0" exact (and up to 6' 2" with my shoes on),
Not too tall, not too short, and a height just perfect for 'kissing' might I add.
Let's see what else, my feet are rather big, being that I'm a size 13,
along with my hands, with the fact I have to buy a size Extra Large glove.
My head for whatever reason is somewhat big and disproportioned
with my body, which I often get ridiculed for, mainly by "cyber bullies".
And despite my somewhat enormous gut (as previously discussed about),
my waist/hips tell a different story, considering I wear a (mens) size 33.
I'm fat one place, fit in other areas, needless to say I'm "out of shape".


VII. HYGIENE /// BODY

As far as me taking care of my body, despite a somewhat "poor diet",
I would give myself an "A" grade in my efforts of being clean and hygienic.
Like, I go to one of Brampton's top-of-the-line (mens) salons, every month
(called Iconic, located by Bramalea City Centre mall, near to Popeyes)
to get my hair done, and sometimes my face, as well as buying some their
hygiene products (facial cleansers, body scrubs, mineral soaps, etc).
I also make it a priority to use my deodorants, and colognes, if needed.
My main drawback as far as hygiene goes is the fact I sweat profusely,
at times, and always rubbing the sweat off my stache area with my arms,
But yeah, aside from that, I consider myself a clean, well-maintained person.


VIII. AGE /// BODY

So one may consider it a 'blessing', while another may consider it a 'curse',
for me I consider it both, a blessing, while living under a wretched curse :)
the fact I indeed look VERY MUCH younger than my actual, legit age.
You are sure to get a wide range of guesses, when it comes to my age,
depending on the person, some saying I look 5 years, 10 years, 15 years
younger than what I actually am, and yeah, I often tend to smile over it.
One would consider it a real privilege to look a lot younger than they are,
in hopes of attracting somebody, indeed, *younger* than themselves
(if that justso happens to be their personal preference, as it is for me).
Sadly, my luck is not one bit changed by this, still no luck with the ladies.


IX. STYLE /// BODY

So in addition to the fact I look 'physically' very much younger than my age,
yeah, I certainly dress/style myself in a way, as if I don't wanna grow up.
I regularly wear music/band t-shirts, jean/camo shorts, fitteds/snapbacks,
funky sunglasses, backpacks, beats headphones (and the list goes on),
all the many things a 'man' supposedly 'my age' shoulda put in his past.
Need you know, I do shop at GUESS too, and own some real classy shit,
so when it comes to important moments, I can dress mature if I so choose.
But yeah, I often dress like a juvenile delinquent, there's no denying that.
And yeah, the fact I'm $7000 in credit card debt, mainly due to 'shopping',
let's you know that I do take my fashion and name brands quite serious.
Real shame, all the money spent on swag, and still can't get laid for nothing.


IX. DRIVE /// BODY

So the last thing I speak of, concerning my body is the sad unfortunate fact,
I don't drive, having not even taken *STEP 1* (G1 test) in learning to drive,
and yeah, depending on public transit and taxi, as my means to get around.
Not that my parents never encouraged me to drive, for a good 10 years,
they would give me 'the book' with a look of pity, hoping I would 'buy in' to it,
and indeed, I would just smirk at it, and *immediately* shove it to a corner.
Not to mention, having a father who's a RAGEAHOLIC behind the wheel,
and rather than help making driving look like a 'simple, easy thing' to do,
he instead makes it look like the most frustrating, challenging thing to do.
Not sure when or if I'll ever learn to drive, as of this very moment, no plans.

I. SOUL /// SOUL

So, the third and final part of my dating profile is in regards to my SOUL.
Not sure what that means, well, this is just me speaking from deep within,
and if you're still not sure what this means, simply out, these are my beliefs.
Maybe mighta been better had I titled it, "BELIEFS", rather than "SOUL",
but MIND, BODY & SOUL was the way I had this profile envisioned out.
Despite 'some peoples' opinion, that my profile is already WAY TOO LONG,
and yeah, the more longer I make it, the more I'm kinda fucking myself over,
but I figure if I have "the gift" of being able to write long, in-depth profiles,
hey, I might as well 'use it', kinda equivalent to girls taking 'cleavage shots'
and uploading it to their profile, in hopes of getting 'more replies', LOL.


II. LIFE /// SOUL

So the fact I continue to ramble, having rambled for 21 paragraphs already,
with another 8 more paragraphs to ramble (before reaching my goal of 30),
consider this here the part of the profile, say, YOU & I were *ON A DATE*,
and we have that awkward moment of silence, LOL, and then you can say
"Dave, so I read such-and-such on your, is this what you really believe?"
Starting off with my thoughts on, yes, LIFE and what a wonderful 'gift' it is,
IF, of course, you are dealt a 'good hand of cards' (meaning: life is good),
otherwise, if not the case, then yeah, maybe 'ending it' aint that bad an idea.
Life is indeed GREAT, especially, when it's going the direction you want it,
unfortunately, not the case for the 'minority' of us out there, but whatever.


III. DEATH /// SOUL

So yeah, as much as I could go on about how great life is, lol (*sarcasm*),
considering the 'hand of cards' dealt to me throughout majority of my life,
is there really anything much else I can add to it? (the answer being: no).
But yeah, when it comes to the subject of DEATH on the otherhand, lol,
I can pretty much write a whole BIBLE's worth on my thoughts on that :P
Considering the circumstances of my life (more negative than positive)
and my rather 'negative' outlook on the world (with all its many injustices),
when I hear news 'this many dozens/hundreds/thousands of people died'
or 'this person died, by killing themselves (and taking others with them)',
idunno, but I get a small bit of 'personal satisfaction' from it, just saying.


IV. SUICIDE (PART I) /// SOUL

Yeah, I'm with 'most of you', when I hear of "someone killing themselves",
how it's such a horrible thing, and the fact, it could have been 'prevented'.
LOL, I kid you, I actually feel 'the opposite' (of the aforementioned 2 lines).
Now depending on the individual, and their circumstances, and whatnot,
I view SUICIDE as a wonderful thing, in fact, more people should DO IT!
Like I said (again), depending on the individual, and their circumstances,
let's say for example, the fact "I can't get a wife or girl friend" (just like me),
or the fact "they are buried neckdown in credit card debt" (again, like me),
or the fact "they're looked upon as the biggest disappoint in their family"
(you guessed it, like me), you start to wonder, if life is worth carrying on?


V. LOVE /// SOUL

So yeah, I like to think, if indeed my life isn't in fact a (uh) "crock of shit!"
that I really am "meant to fall in love", but before 'reaching there', well,
I was meant to go through the most rockiest of experiences and buildup,
including, for example, me being *BOOTED OFF* online dating sites
(by its administrators), NOT for threatening people btw, need I point out,
but supposedly, cause I'm "trying too hard", and "taking it too personally".
Perhaps more twists and turns before I get there, including, who knows,
me GETTING ARRESTED (or idunno) PUT INTO INSTITUTIONS (lol),
before IT finally happens (whenever and wherever the fuck WE MEET).
My (entire) family still anxiously awaits "the day I finally get a girl friend".


VI. MARRIAGE /// SOUL

So putting aside all jokes, as to, who the fuck would wanna MARRY ME?!
(the answer to which being, an escaped female MENTAL PATIENT, LOL).
I am indeed in the camp of those who wants to (one day) get married, and
have a family, have a house, and of course, have kids (3, the MAXIMUM).
So if I hadn't mentioned it anywhere, previously in the profile, but yeah,
I have 2 brothers, both older, and indeed both MARRIED (as of 2012).
How this affects me, well, the fact that when I now go to family gatherings,
I'm always asked, in some form, as to "when am I going to get married?",
along with the line, "we're all waiting on you now!" and "come on already!".
And I clearly let em all know, "no one wants to date me, so...", that's that.


VII. SOULMATE /// SOUL

So yeah, to say that I'm a guy with lots of "(EMOTIONAL) BAGGAGE", lol,
I guess would be putting it mildly, but yeah, there's definately no denying it.
But if I were able to put all that shit (that being, "my baggage") behind me,
and (BY MIRACLE) had the ability to get any girl I want, that of which being,
the ideal girl, or SOULMATE if you will, how exactly would I describe 'her'.
So let's see now, I envision her being 'indian' (brown skinned) in some form
(not including blacks, btw, sorry), whether her roots are that of west indian
(Guyanese, Trinidadian) or south asian (East Indian, Pakistani, Sri Lankan),
with long brown hair, soft spoken voice, and just enjoys loves being teased.
But most importantly, she knows how to live life, which I currently don't, atm.


VIII. SEX /// SOUL

So now, I figure I talk briefly about SEX, and the fact I CAN'T GET ANY,
although, technically "I can", and had 'gotten some' in the past, being in
the form of HOOKERS/ESCORTS/PROSTITUTES (by means of $$).
Now for me to 'admit such thing', yeah, most would probably assume,
this guy (me) must do 'this sorta thing' regularly, which in fact, is untrue,
considering how much $$ women, especially attractive ones, charge
(it ain't cheap), but yeah, for the record, I've had a total of 5 encounters,
which also includes my last encounter, this past Valentine's Day, 2014,
where in fact, I didn't even get laid, not even a kiss or blowjob either,
the "escort" literally drove off with $520 (and all we had was dinner).


IX. RELIGION /// SOUL

So one must wonder, where does RELIGION fall into all this, considering,
me being the (obvious, and indeed, fucked-up) "MONSTROSITY" that I am.
What can else I tell you, I was raised by Hindu (worshiping) parents, though
I can't really consider myself 'Hindu', having (let's just say) dropped from the
Hindu branch a long time ago (and left dangling in the bushes, might I add).
There was a time, I'd go to family (religious) functions, and while everyone
was worshiping to Krishna, I would just sit there, clueless as fuck to what's
going on, playing with the lint on my socks, wondering 'where I lost touch'.
Interestingly enough, it's been 5 years, since I last been to one of those.
So yeah, I guess you can say, religion+worship plays *no role* in my life.


X. THE END /// SOUL

So here we are, having finally reached THE END of this, what seems like,
NEVER-ENDING dating profile, telling you all you need to know about me.
Which btw, I should note, had taken me a course of 2 weeks to complete.
Don't think there's a single man or woman alive today, who's put the amount
of time/energy/effort into writing/perfecting their 'dating profile', as I have.
You would think tho, "in a perfect world", for me to do what I just did here,
it would (and rightfully should) result in some sorta 'pay-off', simply of which,
being me getting the 'rightful' amount of replies/love I feel I properly deserve.
But instead, I get treated like shit, and looked upon as a waste of one's time,
when in fact, I'm the opposite, and best thing available on these dating sites.

I. WHATEVER /// WHATEVER

So yeah, whatever, I decided to add *a tad bit* more to this dating profile.
Aptly titled, "WHATEVER", cause I'm just basically talking about whatever
(so if you're keeping track, it's MIND, BODY & SOUL and WHATEVER)
Your choice to read it or not, but yeah, this is in fact the section where,
um, I kinda let out *the dirt* about myself and what's going in on my mind.
If you're indeed a huge fan of COCKBLOCKING (which simply means,
the act of *helping* prevent one from being friends with "your friend(s)"
(something I have been VICTIM of all my life, bytheway, just felt like saying)
this is where you, "take notes" I guess, about what *bad* person I am.
So yeah, have fun taking this all in, was both fun and painful to wrote this.


II. PORN /// WHATEVER

And with sad pleasure, I must let you know, PORN indeed rules my world
("rules" and "ruins", you can pretty much use both words much the same).
So for me to say how long exactly I have been in tune with the "demon"
that be known as PORN, well, I woulda kinda be giving away my age.
But yeah, this has been going on long time now, with no sign of stoppage
(unless I, uh, went and had my "5 and a 1/2 inch friend" surgically removed).
Long story short, I can pretty much tell you, I've seen just about everything,
from hot/ugly women taking shits to horses orgasming in women's mouths,
lol, I've even "tried" watching GAY PORN, but wasn't really quite into it.
But yeah, pretty much can't go 'half a day' without it (porn), so that sucks.


III. INCEST /// WHATEVER

Altho it kinda ties into PORN, not to say it's my favorite 'flavour' of porn, lol,
but, INCEST, and the fact I like it (not speaking on personal experience).
To the majority of the general public, it's viewed as "sick" and "disgusting",
and if you're seen anyway associating with it, yeah, you're looked down on.
For me personally, I'm already "looked down upon" enough as it is, lol,
so I don't have to worry how "these the words" (I write here) affect me.
But yeah, I do "get off" on 'dads and daughters', 'brothers and sisters',
'aunts and nephews', 'uncles and nieces', and what else now, 'cousins',
yes, HAVING SEX together (not so much 'moms and sons' for some reason).
Don't really see the big deal, we're all human, fuck "the family picture".


IV. AGE DIFFERENCE /// WHATEVER

So yeah, I'm 'in the camp' who believes any 2 people of any (legal) age
can be together, as far as personal relationships, which also includes sex.
Say, a guy is 36 (not me, but using as just as example), and a girl is 16,
they should be able to date, fuck, and do whatever the fuck they want
(and yeah, really, fuck the whole "rob the cradle" bullshit people hate on).
I have an uncle, and in his 50's, and I just came to find out his fiancé (looks)
younger than me, but then again, he's rich (maybe he 'bought' her out) lol.
So yeah, there should be know shame in me admitting it, but yeah,
I am very much more attracted to girls/women younger than me, and yeah,
right now if I had the chance, I would date a girl 15 years younger than me.


V. DIRTY PANTIES /// WHATEVER

So I thought long and hard about this one, and indeed, as to whether
(or whether NOT) to bring this to the public's attention, but I'm gonna DO IT,
and it's regards to PANTIES, and yeah, consider then my #1 FETISH.
Now, I wanna make this WELL & CLEAR, that I DON'T WEAR PANTIES,
not even "in the privacy of my bedroom" (that's just not 'my thing'),
but yeah, there's another "thing" guys do with a girls 'underthingies'.
(not quite sure if I gotta be 100% DIRECT about it, now must I really?).
But yeah, it also goes beyond just panties, as I also like bras, leggings,
shoes (to a degree), yeah, anything that captures the 'scent of a woman'.
Call it what you will, me being a FREAK, I have no shame admitting to it.


VI. TRANSGENDERS /// WHATEVER

So yeah, I am very much fascinated with "transgendered" girls, which are
(if I really have to explain this) boys/men who have 'transitioned' into girls
(or the crude way to put it) chicks with dicks, ladyboys, freakazoids.
And yeah, I'm 1000% well aware to what they have *DOWN THERE*
(and if I can add to that, in that, I prefer they don't change *down there*).
Tho I say this, despite fact, having never been with transgendered girl,
so perhaps, it's a theory, when the times come I do finally get with one,
I could be in for a real "rude awakening", if I indeed come to realize, lol,
I am not "part gay" or whatever you call it (when being attracted to "tgirls").
Still, always a thought, my FIRST GIRL FRIEND could be a transgendered.


VII. GIRL FRIEND /// WHATEVER

So, ummm, I have no shame in admitting it to the world (oh and of course,
anyone I come across to, with one exception... the dicks at my workplace)
the fact I NEVER (not even for one minute of my life) had a GIRL FRIEND,
and indeed, it eats me up each and everyday, in having to accept that fact.
And yeah, had *otherwise* been the case (like, had a did had one or few),
I would probably be a much "pleasant" person today, no doubt about that.
But yeah, say it IS my destiny to eventually have a GIRL FRIEND one day,
safe to say, this one individual is gonna have quite 'the work' cut out for her,
helping me bury my 'troubled past' (and indeed, decade+ of REJECTION).
However, it is still my very strong belief, I will never get a GIRL FRIEND.


VIII. TRIX CEREAL /// WHATEVER

So I wanted to devote a special block on my dating profile, in dedication to,
my love for TRIX CEREAL (which in fact, I'm eating, as I write *this*) LOL!
Which bytheway, NOT SOLD IN CANADA, you have to go to USA to get it.
But why it is, I love TRIX, isn't so much for the (taste of the) cereal itself
(nearly the same as Fruit Loops), but mainly because of the TRIX Rabbit.
If you don't know the story of the TRIX Rabbit, as shown in the commercials,
it's a rabbit, doing the best he can (stressin' lol) to get a bowl of (Trix) cereal,
but he keeps getting SCREWED OVER by kids (who take it away from him),
much similar (or almost) in the way of me trying to GET A GIRL FRIEND, lol,
only for FATE to *intervene*, and yeah, (continually) SCREW ME OVER!


IX. GOD (PART II) /// WHATEVER

So now, in continuation with "my thoughts on GOD" ('Part I' found in MIND),
what other way is there to put it, but I am GOD'S "FUCKTOY" pretty much,
a human experiment, if you will, in conjunction with technology and internet.
While I'm given the impression all females dislike/don't want to be with me,
this is rather 'untrue', and that there are countless numbers who in fact 'do',
especially, as I be sending them messages, many actually 'do reply' back,
and tho it appears as '0 new messages' (no replies) in all my many inboxes,
but GOD intercepts and prevents those messages/replies from appearing,
as he has the ability to do anything and multitask a trillion things at once,
and yeah, its in his intent, 'I am never to fall in love (and get a girl friend)'.

X. SUICIDE (PART II) /// WHATEVER

Though I was given the impression, I shoulda ended my life a long time ago,
the thought came to me that maybe I was NOT in fact mean to end my life.
Considering, my brothers are married, but didn't really marry out of "love"
(one did it for the 'benefits', while the other just took what was 'up for grabs'
in his crappy apartment complex, and now tinkering towards divorce, lol),
not to mention, they both chose to get married 'privately', whereas with me,
my full intent was for my wedding to be a 'big deal' (not no private wedding),
and yeah, and that my marriage was in the sake of 'love' (not tax benefits).
Maybe I was meant go through *ALL MY DRAMA* as part of 'the storyline',
I was near close to KILLING MYSELF, until I met 'the reason' I DIDN'T, her.