DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 31 / CODE:WHI | "MY B-DAY (05.30.15)" | 03/01/15

I.  MY B-DAY (INTRO) 

Hey it'z your boy DJ DIZTURBIA (a.K.a "DVSNGH" Dave Singh) here,
proudly bringing to you episode edition #31 of my blog, recording thiz live at
#BRAMALEA CITY CENTRE mall (like that'z anything new), lol, Brampton,
here to address tha subject of MY BIRTHDAY (that'z fuckin right), BITCHEZ,
happenin (write it down) SATURDAY, MAY 30TH, 2015 (90 dayz az we speak),
and yeah, to say -I got high expectationz- leadin into it, that would definitely
be an -UNDERSTATEMENT- alright, cuz yeah, suckz it'z gotta be like thiz,
but needlezz to say, I have a whole lotta (how do I put it) "emotional stock"
invested in my b-day, perhapz, moreso than any year in recent memory.
I already have $1000 set aside to cover "WHATEVA MEANZ NECESSARY".


II. $1000

So now when I say I got $1000 set aside for my b-day, yeah, ummmz,
while I don't have tha actual $1000 in billz on me, atm, what I really mean iz,
that I'm giving myself a maximum threshold (of $1000) to be spent.
And no, thiz aint'z money comin outta ma parentz account, or a "rich uncle",
no no no, thiz iz ma hard-earned, min-wage, (restaurant) slave-labour dough,
I'm talkin here, yeah, pretty much tha money I kinda sorta have -yet to earn- lolz
Soundz like a bit of an *INSANE MOVE*, I know, especially considering
it being MY OWN B-DAY, it shud be -other people- (friendz, family, partner?)
goin outta their way (meaning, spendin some a their money) in making
their friend/loved one feel *SPECIAL* on their B-DAY, not the otha way around.


III. $1000 II

So yeah, $1000, that'z quite alotta dough (to be spendin on one evening),
which will indeed be a -first- (experience) for me, and hopefully, a -last-,
let'z obviously hope I'm able to think/spend smart with it (who am I kiddin, right),
need I gotta point out, I don't plan on dishin out a -LARGE SUM- to some
NO GOOD HOE (I'm talkin hooker, stripper, "massage therapist" bitch),
oh no, you best fuckin believe it, there will be none of that on my b-day,
-WHOEVA- I'm with that evening (if, of course, I'm actually with somebody)
-THAT PERSON- (or pair of, or group of, personz) iz not gonna be takin/acceptin
one single BILL/TOONIE/LOONIE outta my hand/wallet/pocket (you hear?).
So far, az of thiz writing, got absolute -NOBODY- to chill with on my bday.


IV. FRIENDZ

So I should quickly address tha issue of -FRIENDZ- and -FAMILY- here,
in the fact I have -NOT ONE SINGLE FRIEND- be it guy or girl (tiz a sad life),
and while I do have 'some family' (a mom, a dad, a brother, and sis-in-law),
I don't want ANYTHING to do with THEM on my b-day, and yes, indeed,
the past couple yearz, I've made it absolute clear to them, in termz of that.
Funny shit (well, not really), 2 yearz ago, my parentz forced me to go to
some sushi restaurant, when I didn't wanna go, but still they dragged me,
sayin how, they didn't care if it wuz my bday, az a meanz to 'convince me',
so I agreed to go, and how about it, during the middle of the dine-out,
I'd hear 'happy bday song', bein sung at a nearby table, it made me angry.


V. LAST YEAR B-DAY

So yeah, becuz of -that experience-, I wuz intend NOT to let -that- happen again
(you know, parentz takin me out to dinner on my bday, out of mere pity),
so you know what I did, the next year (thiz bein last year, 2014), hah yeah,
I decided to leave home early and not come home until weee in tha morning,
az meanz to avoid, az well az spite, my parentz (cuzza tha year before).
And of course, NO REPLYIN all text attemptz, they be hollerin at my cell.
I know, kind of twizted, sadiztic way for one be treatin their "flesh and blood",
especially when they see it'z MY BDAY, and I got nothin, in meanz of friendz.
So yeah, they wanted make a statement, that despite -my SAD situation-
that -THEY ARE THERE FOR ME- no offense, but, ummm -FUCK THAT!-


VI. LAST YEAR B-DAY II

So let'z talk quickly bout last year, and while it wuzn't 'my worst bday ever',
hey, it still sucked A HUGE DICK, especially when "celebrating" it, alone.
But yeah, so I went to this club ("Secrets", formerly 'Club Tobago'), in btown,
knowin ahead of time, it wuz a club that suckz, that getz bare people,
and yeah, you wanna how many peepz came to 'Secrets' that night,
minus of course -staff (8)-, that'z right, TWELVE PEOPLE (I counted),
including a group of 4 decent (but not all that) girlz, who left an hour-in, lolz.
Any wonder why Secrets/Club Tobago iz now, yeahhh, OUTTA BIZZNESS!
Even worse, goin into that night, I had HIGH HOPEZ of meetin some chick
(ANY CHICK), from the club, and -at least- gettin HEAD, but I got zippp!


VII. XXTH B-DAY

So yeah, with my XXth bday comin up, 90 dayz from now (and by "XXth"
I don't mean "20th", I'm a lil bit older -understatement- than that (lolz)
... and for all thoze dyin to know -THE ACTUAL NUMBER- FUCK Y'ALL ...
There kinda came thiz point in ma life, I gave up countin/acknowledgin it,
so yeah, if one were to dare consider getting me a bday cake, ummm yeah,
it would juz have to say "HAPPY BDAY" (that'z it, no digitz, you know).
But yeah, with my bday 90 dayz away, and virtually nobody -aside from,
well, my lozer azz parentz- in termz of love/support/company, ha, idunno,
tha forecast showz *dark grey cloudy skiez* (not very good, gotta say).
In order for thiz bday to lift off, juz won't be able to, without support of -A FRIEND-.


VIII. FRIENDZ II

So it lookz I'm gonna have to make a hard ditch effort, in tha 90 dayz I got,
in tryin to make -A FRIEND- not juz for the purpose of "bday enlightenment",
cuz I obviously need it, having been (let'z see) a good 12 YEARZ (yeah)
since I last had "friendz", indeed, being a "lonewolf" for all theze yearz.
Any wonder my life haz yet to really "evolve", and become 'something',
wouldn't say -NO FRIENDZ- iz the direct cause (but a contributing factor).
So it lookz like I have to MAKE FRIENDZ, and yeah, MAKE FRIENDZ FAST!
Obviouzly, can't sit and WAIT FOR IT TO MAGICALLY HAPPEN, 

no no no, so what have I done lately, to FIX DATTT, it'z a good thing ya askkk :P
!!! I've re-entered the online social networking/dating scene again !!!


IX. THE ONLINE THING

So I can't really go into too much *DETAIL* in regardz to -THAT- atm,
but yeah, here'z a sweet bit a info for y'all, regardin me and "the online thing",
in that, yeah, I AM BANNED ON BOTH OKCUPID AND PLENTYOFFISH,
indeed, the 2 MOST POPULAR DATING SITES, tho I can create accounts,
yeah, THEY GET DELETED WITHIN 24-48 HOURZ, and beyond juz that,
if I upgrade (PAY MY MONEY TOWARDS THE SITE) my membership,
I STILL GET MY AZZZ DELETED (confirmed az of a week ago) :P
So considering that whole dilemma, and the fact, I'm virtually HOPELESS
in termz of trying make friendz, um, outside a computer or mobile device,
when I tell ya -I'M CONSIDERING SUIXIDE- you best belieb <3


X. MY B-DAY II 

So what elze iz there to say about my bday (SATURDAY, MAY 30TH, 2015),
aside from the fact, yeah, I'm aimin towards havin THA NIGHT OF MY LIFE.
Let'z see, I'm absolute REFUSIN it be a repeat/continuation of my past, um,
5? (10?) disappointing birthdayz (can't recall my last ever "happy" bday).
And if GOD thinkz otherwize to that, and wantz me to have to sit through
yet another -PAINFUL- -SAD- -LONELY- birthday experience,
I am gonna retaliate hard, so hard, my actionz may be (idunno) UNFORGIVABLE.
Have you ever seen someone BURN A BIBLE, A QUARAN and A VEDA
(that's the HINDU bible) all in A DAY? Heh, I can be 'the first' (juz an idea).
Bottom line, I'd SELL MY SOUL TO THA DEVIL for a HAPPY BDAY, thiz year.


Paragraphs I through VIII written at Bramalea City Centre mall (Brampton)
Paragraphs IX and X written on Brampton Transit bus (Brampton)