I. V-DAY
Hey, it'z your boy DJ DIZTURBIA (a.K.a "DVSNGH" Dave Singh) here,
proud to bring to you EPISODE 29, and indeed, a very 'dark subject matter'to say the least, az I talk about the dark day that iz "February The 14th",
the one calendar date I very much fuckin DESPIZE more than any other,
and yeah, perhapz had it never exizted, I might be a more jolly fella,
but no, it haz to exizt, and it haz to exizt to make fuckerz like me agonize.
Needless to say, I've had quite a hiztoric past when dealin with "V-DAY",
and the reazon I call it that, az oppozed to spelling it out in full, well,
CUZZZ IT KINDA PAINZ IN HAVIN TO READ/SAY THAT "V" WORD/NAME".
Such pain, I'm thuz rezorted to the liquor bottle, in seek of dezperate refuge.
II. V-DAY II
So yeah, judging by my wonderful opening paragraph piece there, yeah,
I hope you were able to grasp a slight understanding of the great difficulty and,
needless to say, lifelong battle I've had to face in termz of thiz one BULLSHIT
calendar date (and the BULLSHIT corporate propaganda machine behind it).
so yeah, here I be, broadcasting thiz piece *LIVE* at #SHOPPERSWORLD mall
(Brampton) with my size large STARBUCKS FRAPPUCCINO+++3 SHOTZ
(let'z juz say, that'z one AMPEDDD ASSS FUCKKK iced coffee drink, peoplez),
here cocked and loaded, hyped up on my caffeine buzz, ready to let out
an amazing tell all story of past dealingz (shortcomingz) with "FEB14TH".
Yep, another 8 PARAGRAPHZ to flow thru after this, so hold the fuck on tight.
III. V-DAY III
So if you were to poll most peoplez, whether be guy or girl, and you ask em
bout that 'one calendar date', February 14th, and whether or not, uh,
the day meanz anything, or it'z nothing, cept juz (corporate-fueled) hype,
yeah, most are eazy to brush it off az juzt another day/date on the calendar,
"no sweatz"... "not the end of tha world"... "never really cared for it".
But then, there'z the 1% who think the total oppozite, the onez like me,
who kinda think tha world of "ValenSHIT'z Day" (soundz fucked, I know),
and who feelz, if they don't got a bitch (or a group a hot bitchez) to chill with,
and give em "love" on "World Celebrate Your Love Day" (February 14th),
they feel worthlezz and left out in tha cold, yeah, I'm one of *thoze peoplez*.
IV. V-DAY IV (HOOKERZ)
So yeah, uh, a good number of my past V-DAYZ have involved (yes)
HOOKERZ... PROSTITUTEZ... ESCORTZ... (INSERT YOUR NOUN HERE),
and yeah, let'z just say, they weren't GOOD TIMEZ to say the damn least,
especially upon instancez, when you pay -upfront- for A GOOD TIME (lol),
and the BITCH drivez off halfway, and blockz my number (addin to insult).
That wuz indeed LAST YEAR (2014), peoplez, and no fuckin doubt in hell,
my single worst misfortune and lesson learned in terms of "prostitution".
And truzt me, I will devote a paragraph, detailing *THAT* one incident,
but yeah, would you say I finally 'learned my lesson' never again to blow my
hard-earned min. wage money on hookerz? (btw, I got no savingz account).
V. V-DAY V (HOOKERZ II)
Haha, so just think about 'that' for a sec, one's minimum-wage money ($11/hour)
being passed off into the handz of the lowezt form of human scum imaginable,
who at the end of the day, prolly won't even remember your name or face,
I could go on, but yeah, you pretty much get tha picture (fuckin hoebagz).
And yeah, might I also add, that (meetin up with) theze bitchez ain't cheap,
all depending on the scale of 'quality' (attractiveness), you could be dishing
outwards of $150-$300 "PER THE HOUR!", and that'z just for "their time",
and say, you planned/PAID (UPFRONT) for "X" amount of time with one,
there'z momentz (based off my personal experiencez, oh let me tell ya)
you don't even get the time you asked for, they'll try find wayz to cut the clock,
and yeah, they don't give "partial refundz" back, that'z for damn sure.
VI. V-DAY 2014
So let'z look at back at last year'z "V-DAY" (2014), when I decided to (lol)
schedule myself -off- work, for the second year in a row, the reason being,
I had an "elaborate plan" of having a dinner, and yeah, GETTING LAID AFTER.
In order to make that plan a reality, well, it would require me needing A DATE,
and yeah, since I can't for the life me get girl/woman to ever wanna date me
(let alone, FOR FREE, since I'm a ugly, undesirable, worthless sack of shit),
I wuz resorted to the route of (hiring) an "ESCORT" a.K.a prostitute, hoebag.
So I met up with a "Jasmine" I found off backpage.com (online classifieds),
with the intentionz of having a dinner date, and yeah, -A GOOD TIME- after,
that wuz the plan, unfortunately, it didn't quite work out az I'd envizioned.
VII. V-DAY 2014 II (IN-DETAIL)
So if you wondering what happened, no probz, I be happy share it with y'allz.
Well, plain and simple, tha fuckin bitch screwed me and screwed me goood,
$520 (CASH), she asked me to give her, for a 4-hour 'night out' with her,
not to mention, she had a car, so I thought tha possibilitiez were endlezz,
but yeah, it wuz thankz to her wheelz, she wuz able to get away with my money.
The plan wuz, we were gonna have dinner at a restaurant, but stupid me,
didn't make reservationz in advance, so after driving around b-town, lookin for
a place to dine-in, yeah, we had to settle for Swiss Chalet (take-out) in her car.
We were suppose to go hotel after -FOR SEX- but she tricked me to go in (first),
sayin, she'd meet me at the room, but instead SEIZED the opp to -abandon me-.
VIII. V-DAY 2013
So next, there'z the year beforez "V-DAY" (2013), a day in which I decided
to book off (work), why, becuzzz (you see) I had an "elaborate plan" setup,
a plan of which to, yeah, GET LAID (and doing so in the 'comfort of home').
Having recalled all my previous 'hoe encounterz' (3 total) going, um, bad
(what can I say, I was dealing with "technical difficultiez, to say the least),
I had to blame it on 'something', you know, so yeah, I decided to blame it
on the "hotel room", and the fact, I wasn't really feelin the whole hotel setting,
so yeah, I thought if I -DID IT- in my room, and on my own mothafuckin bed,
problem solved, and the fact I even paid for 2 HOURZ (OF A GOOD TIME),
I wuz thinkin, I gotz time to GET LUCKY TWICE, but thiz sadly didn't happen.
IX. V-DAY 2013 II (IN-DETAIL)
So yeah, what can I tell ya'z, I wuz unfortunately hindered once again
with "technical difficultiez", and it wuzn't like I didn't like -what I saw-
with "Porsha" (the name of the hoebag), yeah, she wuz no bait-and-switch
(that'z a term when a hoe usez fake/mizleading pics in her ad to trick peoplez),
and yeah, she even fulfilled my small requestz, in which I wanted her to
wear her hair down, oh and yeah, to wear black leggingz (*HUGE FETISH*).
But yeah, she tried to -BLOW ME- a few timez (lolz), but to no real luck,
and yeah, she figured we go straight for -THE RIDE-, but else what can I say,
my "engine" decided to stall on me, so yeah, all-in-all -UNHAPPY ENDING-
which btw I had to $400 upfront for, and no, there wuz no 'partial refund'.
X. V-DAY VI (TO BE CONTINUED...)
So I just wanted to let y'allz know, this very same blog/epizode you see here,
wuz intended to be juz a 'one part (10 paragraph)' piece, but ha, what can I say,
got so much in my mind, I feel I can go another 10 paragraphz, eazy az that.
I have such a storied pazt when it comez to "V-DAY", hey, muz be shared.
Another fact bout last year'z V-DAY (2014), yeah, in that one day time span
(1O:30AM to 1:15AM) I spent the most money -in one day- in my entire life,
having dished out $820, breakin it down now, $520 being given to -the bitch-,
$212 spent on the "Monte Carlo" hotel room ($89 of which I wuz able get back),
$36 on Swiss Chalet 'for 2', $22 at William's Cafe (earlier in the day, by myself),
and $30 for the taxi fair home, all in all, a $820 (accumulated) financial hit on me.
Paragraphs I, II, IV, V and VI. written at Shoppers World mall (Brampton)
Paragraphs III, VII, VIII, IX and X written at Bramalea City Centre mall (Brampton)
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