I. HEALTH PROBLEMZ (THA FLU) I
Hey it'z your boy DJ DIZTURBIA (a.K.a "DVSNGH" Dave Singh) here,
proudly bringing to ya blog/episode #36, dezpite tha rather unfortunate
circumstancez I got goin here, be it tha fact that, yezzz... I gotz THA FLU!
Yezzz indeedy, tha flu, I juz so happen to be one tha lucky few to catch tha flu
in of all timez of tha year, tha month of May, MOTHAFUCKIN MAY (tha'z right),
juz when tha weather started gettin good, izn't that great, I had to get sick.
Not to mention tha fact, in lezz than 10 dayz, it'z MA BDAY (05.30.15),
and yeah, knowin ma past history (when gettin hit with tha flu), chancez are
I'm goin be headin into ma bday still with tha flu (or leftova symptomz of it),
cuzzz yeah, when I get sick, it takez me WEEKZ (NOT DAYZ) to recova.
II. HEALTH PROBLEMZ (THA FLU) II
So here I be now, at home, layin on my bed (writin thiz blog, not often tha case)
alongside me, a large cup of hot deliciously sour (daytime) "neocitran"
(a flu remedy, sold ova tha counter), which I must say, doin itz job damn well,
dezpite tha fact, tha wordz you see here (bein inputted via ma iPhone, app)
are comin out at a snail'z (sssslllooowww) pace, and tha fact that, yeah,
I probably shouldn't be doin thiz (writing) and puttin unnecessary
strain on ma brain, but whateva, it'z ma determination to get thiz blog done.
If only I could show ya peoplez what I look like (via a quick snap wit ma phone),
layin here, half-dead, one eye open, on me bed, while writin thiz shit, hey,
it ain't a pretty sight (oh and no, I utterly refuse to provide y'allz with a pic).
III. HEALTH PROBLEMZ (THA FLU) II
So I juz thought I'd entertain y'allz with tha story of how I got tha flu.
Cuzzz you see, I din't get sick by random, it wuz a well-orchestrated setup.
Now here we are in tha month of May, here in tha GTA (Greater Toronto Area),
about 6 weekz removed from yet another cold and torturous winter season,
with tha weather finally reachin a nice comfortable norm (15 to 23 degreez).
Mind you, tha month of April haz it'z issuez (warm one day, cold the otha),
but give it a month'z time for tha weather to transition it'z way through,
and come May time, tha weather iz great, and you get to enjoy tha outdoorz.
Now dezpite dayz of occasional rain here and there, I definitely muz say,
tha weather haz been pretty damn great thiz year (Spring 2015), until...
IV. HEALTH PROBLEMZ (THA FLU) IV
So yeah, juz when I started gettin into tha flow of Spring (temperature'z rising),
how about that, on tha dayz of (May) 11th, 12th and 13th, we all (in tha GTA-area)
got hit with a cold blast from outta nowhere, and to thoze who neva saw it comin,
and (key important fact here) had not *dressed properly* within thoze 3 dayz,
what can I tell ya, a few *chozen onez* eventually had to suffer itz wrath,
and how about it, "I" juz so happen to be one of tha few, lucky chozen onez
to get taken under, and yeah, here I be in tha month of 'May' with tha flu.
How often do I ever get tha flu? I'd say, once or twice a year, on average.
And how often do I get tha flu in May of all monthz? Ummm, never, actually.
I would alwayz catch it, September thru March, typically 'tha cold monthz'.
V. HEALTH PROBLEMZ (THA FLU) V
So, I found it real interesting that I happen to get sick in May, (I repeat) May!
And juz so happenz to be 'Late May', yeah, juz dayz before ma bday (05.30.15).
And how about that, after that minor cold blast (May 11th-13th, 8-11 degreez)
it went back to warm again (19-25 degreez) and stayed tha same since.
Getting to ma point here in that I very much indeed put full blame to GOD,
for causin me to get sick, and quite possibly even, having me remain sick
"before, during, and after" MA BDAY (05.30.15), az meanz of punishment.
Like, neva in tha past, would I eva have to worry bout gettin tha flu in 'May'
and havin it (potentially) ruin whateva planz I got on tha horizon (on ma bday).
But GOD haz willfully decided to throw thiz wrench into my planz.
VI. HEALTH PROBLEMZ (THA FLU) VI
Unlezz of course, thiz iz all juz a swerve, in (GOD) cauzin me to panic,
and that he'z gonna actually have me fine and ready (come time for ma bday),
if of courze, I'm able to get past tha fuckin FLU in lezz than 10 dayz time,
which haz neva happened before (alwayz takez "me" roughly 12-18 dayz).
Yeah, I've got what you call, one of them 'weak immune systemz'.
So yeah, right now, ma poor sinus and throat haz to experience HELL
for what'z expected to be a 1-week (perhapz, 2-week) more period cycle.
Amazing coincidence btw, that I juz happen to fall sick, tha last week of May,
tha very same week, I choze to take time off work (due to exhaustion),
to juz relax and chill, yeah, I'll now instead be usin that time chillin with tha flu!
VII. WORKING (WITH THA FLU) I
So btw, az I reach -thiz- part of ma blog here, you wanna know where I am,
I'll tell ya, Brampton(Fuckin)Transit, on ma way to work (yeah, I work!)
#RestaurantThatCannotBeNamed, tha'z fuckin right, on ma way to work
(and on public transit, mind you) with tha damn fuckin flu! Now mind you,
I did tell ma manager already, that I got hit with tha, and that (you know),
it'z probably not a good idea to be working in a restaurant environment,
be it that I might (idunno) *SPREAD THA VIRUS* on 1 or to 2 ma coworkerz,
not to mention tha fact, I could be contaminating a lot tha shit I touch.
But no, I work in a restaurant (#RestaurantThatCannotBeNamed, az I said),
where you are practically forced to work, whether sick or not sick, lol...
VIII. WORKING (WITH THA FLU) II
And tho I shouldn't (you know) *TALK SHIT* bout ma workplace and all,
but yeah, we operate on some real BULLSHIT conditionz here, let me tell ya.
And btw, I believe we are tha only restaurant chain that'z open (day and night!)
364 DAYZ A YEAR, yeah, only day it'z closed, iz fuckin CHRISTMAS DAY!
Buh yeah, when someone fallz sick, they pretty much gotta come in sick,
unlezz, you're "close friendz" with people there (who know your section),
who you can make arrangementz to fill in for you, otherwize, you're fucked!
Now ma manager said he texted tha next available dude (who could fill in),
but he *NO REPLIED*, seein az that'z tha attitude of (most) our employeez.
Now when 'he' getz sick, and they be textin me to fill in, I return *tha favor*!
IX. MA BDAY (WITH THA FLU)
So it'z quite amazing, that I be taking thiz time, and devoting a whole blog,
in a long-winded rant about (me) "being sick" (and how much it suckz),
when I could be/should be talkin bout much more (idunno) meaningful shit,
but yeah, I wuz originally suppoze to devote thiz blog/episode in talkin bout
MA BDAY (05.30.15), in lezz than 10 dayz time, and how much I'm sooo
"looking forward -and- NOT looking forward to it" (soundz fucked, eh?).
But tha fact I had to fall 'sick' suddenly and everso unexpectedly like thiz,
juz amazes me, considering ma life of mizery, one mizfortune afta anotha.
But yeah, if I do happen to get out of thiz sick state, right in time for ma bday,
and (by miracle!) I do get treated to a good (HAPPY) BDAY, dunno what to say.
X. FURTHER HEALTH PROBLEMZ (HEMORRHOIDZ!)
So lastly now, I'd like to share tha newz of ma other rather 'unfortunate'
health problem/encounter I had been plagued with (early in tha month of May),
which haz thankfully gone away, for tha most part, altho tha mark still remainz,
that being (yes!) tha HEMORRHOID (lmfao!) I'd unfortunately been hit with,
in tha first week of May, and yeah, did *that shit* (pun intended) eva hurt or what.
Now if you don't know what da fuck a 'hemorrhoid' iz, well, what can I tell ya,
ummm, go look it up for yourself, a rather disgusting thing to say tha least,
and yeah, I believe it had been ma '3rd (or 4th) ever' one in ma whole life,
and how about it, juz *had to* happen thiz month of all monthz, but whateva.
So there ya go, 10 lovely paragraphz, centered round ma health problemz.
Paragraphs I, II, III, IV, V, VI, IX and X written at Home (Brampton)
Paragraphs VII and VIII written on Brampton Transit bus (Brampton)
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