DIZTURBIA.COM

DIZTURBIA.COM

Saturday, February 14, 2015

DIZTURBIA.COM | 02.14.15 TWITTER MIXTAPE | "V-DAY (PART II)" | 02/14/15


Posted by at No comments:

Friday, February 13, 2015

DIZTURBIA.COM | 02.13.15 TWITTER MIXTAPE | "V-DAY (PART I)" | 02/13/15


Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 29 / CODE:WHI | "V-DAY (PART I)" | 02/10/15



I. V-DAY

Hey, it'z your boy DJ DIZTURBIA (a.K.a "DVSNGH" Dave Singh) here,
proud to bring to you EPISODE 29, and indeed, a very 'dark subject matter'
to say the least, az I talk about the dark day that iz "February The 14th",
the one calendar date I very much fuckin DESPIZE more than any other,
and yeah, perhapz had it never exizted, I might be a more jolly fella,
but no, it haz to exizt, and it haz to exizt to make fuckerz like me agonize.
Needless to say, I've had quite a hiztoric past when dealin with "V-DAY",
and the reazon I call it that, az oppozed to spelling it out in full, well,
CUZZZ IT KINDA PAINZ IN HAVIN TO READ/SAY THAT "V" WORD/NAME".
Such pain, I'm thuz rezorted to the liquor bottle, in seek of dezperate refuge.
II. V-DAY II

So yeah, judging by my wonderful opening paragraph piece there, yeah,
I hope you were able to grasp a slight understanding of the great difficulty and,
needless to say, lifelong battle I've had to face in termz of thiz one BULLSHIT
calendar date (and the BULLSHIT corporate propaganda machine behind it).
so yeah, here I be, broadcasting thiz piece *LIVE* at #SHOPPERSWORLD mall
(Brampton) with my size large STARBUCKS FRAPPUCCINO+++3 SHOTZ
(let'z juz say, that'z one AMPEDDD ASSS FUCKKK iced coffee drink, peoplez),
here cocked and loaded, hyped up on my caffeine buzz, ready to let out
an amazing tell all story of past dealingz (shortcomingz) with "FEB14TH".
Yep, another 8 PARAGRAPHZ to flow thru after this, so hold the fuck on tight.
III. V-DAY III

So if you were to poll most peoplez, whether be guy or girl, and you ask em
bout that 'one calendar date', February 14th, and whether or not, uh,
the day meanz anything, or it'z nothing, cept juz (corporate-fueled) hype,
yeah, most are eazy to brush it off az juzt another day/date on the calendar,
"no sweatz"... "not the end of tha world"... "never really cared for it".
But then, there'z the 1% who think the total oppozite, the onez like me,
who kinda think tha world of "ValenSHIT'z Day" (soundz fucked, I know),
and who feelz, if they don't got a bitch (or a group a hot bitchez) to chill with,
and give em "love" on "World Celebrate Your Love Day" (February 14th),
they feel worthlezz and left out in tha cold, yeah, I'm one of *thoze peoplez*.
IV. V-DAY IV (HOOKERZ)

So yeah, uh, a good number of my past V-DAYZ have involved (yes)
HOOKERZ... PROSTITUTEZ... ESCORTZ... (INSERT YOUR NOUN HERE),
and yeah, let'z just say, they weren't GOOD TIMEZ to say the damn least,
especially upon instancez, when you pay -upfront- for A GOOD TIME (lol),
and the BITCH drivez off halfway, and blockz my number (addin to insult).
That wuz indeed LAST YEAR (2014), peoplez, and no fuckin doubt in hell,
my single worst misfortune and lesson learned in terms of "prostitution".
And truzt me, I will devote a paragraph, detailing *THAT* one incident,
but yeah, would you say I finally 'learned my lesson' never again to blow my
hard-earned min. wage money on hookerz? (btw, I got no savingz account).
V. V-DAY V (HOOKERZ II)

Haha, so just think about 'that' for a sec, one's minimum-wage money ($11/hour)
being passed off into the handz of the lowezt form of human scum imaginable,
who at the end of the day, prolly won't even remember your name or face,
I could go on, but yeah, you pretty much get tha picture (fuckin hoebagz).
And yeah, might I also add, that (meetin up with) theze bitchez ain't cheap,
all depending on the scale of 'quality' (attractiveness), you could be dishing
outwards of $150-$300 "PER THE HOUR!", and that'z just for "their time",
and say, you planned/PAID (UPFRONT) for "X" amount of time with one,
there'z momentz (based off my personal experiencez, oh let me tell ya)
you don't even get the time you asked for, they'll try find wayz to cut the clock,
and yeah, they don't give "partial refundz" back, that'z for damn sure.
VI. V-DAY 2014

So let'z look at back at last year'z "V-DAY" (2014), when I decided to (lol)
schedule myself -off- work, for the second year in a row, the reason being,
I had an "elaborate plan" of having a dinner, and yeah, GETTING LAID AFTER.
In order to make that plan a reality, well, it would require me needing A DATE,
and yeah, since I can't for the life me get girl/woman to ever wanna date me
(let alone, FOR FREE, since I'm a ugly, undesirable, worthless sack of shit),
I wuz resorted to the route of (hiring) an "ESCORT" a.K.a prostitute, hoebag.
So I met up with a "Jasmine" I found off backpage.com (online classifieds),
with the intentionz of having a dinner date, and yeah, -A GOOD TIME- after,
that wuz the plan, unfortunately, it didn't quite work out az I'd envizioned.
VII. V-DAY 2014 II (IN-DETAIL)

So if you wondering what happened, no probz, I be happy share it with y'allz.
Well, plain and simple, tha fuckin bitch screwed me and screwed me goood,
$520 (CASH), she asked me to give her, for a 4-hour 'night out' with her,
not to mention, she had a car, so I thought tha possibilitiez were endlezz,
but yeah, it wuz thankz to her wheelz, she wuz able to get away with my money.
The plan wuz, we were gonna have dinner at a restaurant, but stupid me,
didn't make reservationz in advance, so after driving around b-town, lookin for
a place to dine-in, yeah, we had to settle for Swiss Chalet (take-out) in her car.
We were suppose to go hotel after -FOR SEX- but she tricked me to go in (first),
sayin, she'd meet me at the room, but instead SEIZED the opp to -abandon me-.
VIII. V-DAY 2013

So next, there'z the year beforez "V-DAY" (2013), a day in which I decided
to book off (work), why, becuzzz (you see) I had an "elaborate plan" setup,
a plan of which to, yeah, GET LAID (and doing so in the 'comfort of home').
Having recalled all my previous 'hoe encounterz' (3 total) going, um, bad
(what can I say, I was dealing with "technical difficultiez, to say the least),
I had to blame it on 'something', you know, so yeah, I decided to blame it
on the "hotel room", and the fact, I wasn't really feelin the whole hotel setting,
so yeah, I thought if I -DID IT- in my room, and on my own mothafuckin bed,
problem solved, and the fact I even paid for 2 HOURZ (OF A GOOD TIME),
I wuz thinkin, I gotz time to GET LUCKY TWICE, but thiz sadly didn't happen.
IX. V-DAY 2013 II (IN-DETAIL)

So yeah, what can I tell ya'z, I wuz unfortunately hindered once again
with "technical difficultiez", and it wuzn't like I didn't like -what I saw-
with "Porsha" (the name of the hoebag), yeah, she wuz no bait-and-switch
(that'z a term when a hoe usez fake/mizleading pics in her ad to trick peoplez),
and yeah, she even fulfilled my small requestz, in which I wanted her to
wear her hair down, oh and yeah, to wear black leggingz (*HUGE FETISH*).
But yeah, she tried to -BLOW ME- a few timez (lolz), but to no real luck,
and yeah, she figured we go straight for -THE RIDE-, but else what can I say,
my "engine" decided to stall on me, so yeah, all-in-all -UNHAPPY ENDING-
which btw I had to $400 upfront for, and no, there wuz no 'partial refund'.
X. V-DAY VI (TO BE CONTINUED...)

So I just wanted to let y'allz know, this very same blog/epizode you see here,
wuz intended to be juz a 'one part (10 paragraph)' piece, but ha, what can I say,
got so much in my mind, I feel I can go another 10 paragraphz, eazy az that.
I have such a storied pazt when it comez to "V-DAY", hey, muz be shared.
Another fact bout last year'z V-DAY (2014), yeah, in that one day time span
(1O:30AM to 1:15AM) I spent the most money -in one day- in my entire life,
having dished out $820, breakin it down now, $520 being given to -the bitch-, 
$212 spent on the "Monte Carlo" hotel room ($89 of which I wuz able get back),
$36 on Swiss Chalet 'for 2', $22 at William's Cafe (earlier in the day, by myself),
and $30 for the taxi fair home, all in all, a $820 (accumulated) financial hit on me.
Paragraphs I, II, IV, V and VI. written at Shoppers World mall (Brampton)
Paragraphs III, VII, VIII, IX and X written at Bramalea City Centre mall (Brampton)
Posted by at No comments:

DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 29 / CODE:WHI | "V-DAY (PART II)" | 02/10/15



I. V-DAY VII (PART DEAUX)

Hey, it'z your boy DJ DIZTURBIA (a.K.a "DVSNGH" Dave Singh) here,
here to bring to y'allz "PART DEAUX (TWO, 2) of my epic "V-DAY" blog/rant,
be writing thiz *LIVE* at #BCC/#BRAMALEA Centre Mall (City of Brampton),
alongzide another amazin LARGE #STARBUCKS FRAPPUCCINO +4 SHOTZ.
It'z interesting, in order for me to perform (meaning, write theze blogz, lol),
yeah, it now requirez loadza highly caffeinated coffee (before, it didn't),
and you know how much diz drink cost me, $8.75, dunnoboutyoufuckaz,
but I think that'z fuckin expenzive, I mean, it tazte good and everything,
but if it now requirez -this- every week to get my brain flowing, idunno man.
II. V-DAY 2012

 But anywayz, gettin back to the main subject ("V-DAY"), let'z talk about 2012,
I kinda had to -work- that evening, and yeah, I didn't really object to it,
thought it maybe be a good thing, as oppozed to like, ummm, being home
-lonesome n miserable- in my bedroom (cussin off random peoplez on the net).
At the time thoigh, I was only about -4 months into my -then- new restaurant job,
and yeah, I wuz a little "slow" and barely able to keep up the (fast) pace
(becuz, if you didn't know, the restaurant that I work at is kinda like,
ummm, amongst the #1 hottest "dating spotz" in all of my city, Brampton),
tho I did "survive" by the end of it, needlezz to say, that night scarred me,
so much, well, I kinda made a vow to myself never to work "V-DAY" night again,
and yeah, schedule myself off (in advance), and that I did (the next 2 yearz).
III. V-DAY 2010

So let'z see, there wuz "V-DAY 2010", where the focus wuzn't so much on
me (ummm) GETTIN LAID, plain and simple, I juz wanted to be with somebody,
didn't care who, az long she wuz a girl (obviouzly), and during that time,
I wuz ridin high on the whole "social networking" thing, despite the fact,
no bitchez (on them sitez) liked me nor wanted to get with me, still, lol,
in ma mind, I thought I had 'some chance', so I *tried... tried... tried*,
and yeah, I wuz tryin real real hard to establish A DATE (for V-DAY night),
and yeah, nobody wuz accepting (hence why I think I'm such a loser).
But yeah, I juz kept throwin my (cell) number left n right, at bitchez (online),
hoping by miracle -ANYBODY- (girl obviouzly) would text/wanting to meet up.
IV. V-DAY 2010 II (IN-DETAIL)

 So yeah, that'z where I metup with thiz bitch named "Mary Jane" (fake name),
who agreed to meetup with me and her (chick) friend at #SHOPPERSWORLD mall,
sayin how she wanted me to take her out shopping "for a lil bit" (her quote),
and that we would "have fun" after (assuming that she meant, um, SEX).
When I met her, she guided me right away into Sirens (store), and started
freaking out, saying she left "her mom's credit card" home, and wuz wondering
if she could 'borrow' minez, but yeah, turnz out she wuz juz tryin scam me hard,
luckily, I didn't have credit card then, or else I coulda been royally fucked.
Silly me tho, I actually thought the whole time, we're gonna be "friendz",
and be meeting up, and chillin, til she (lol) chewed me out (via text) later on.
V. V-DAY 2008

So next, there wuz the ohso memorable "V-DAY" of 2008, thiz being the one,
I, uh, TRIED TO LOZE MY VIRGINITY (FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME),
by meanz of an escort (a.K.a HOOKER), at the amazing, wonderful cost of
$300 (FOR "THE HOUR"), thru this (escort) agency called DREAM-MAKERS.
Now, in explaining how I got the $300 (to pay the bitch), and the other $150
(to cover hotel room), considering, I had no real 'job' from 2003 til like 2011,
in late '07, I wuz able find 'work', selling t-shirtz at a booth in #SHOPPERSWORLD,
at an awesome pay of $6/hour, but yeah, by January '08 I kinda got tha boot.
So yeah, in the 3 monthz I done that, I wuz able to amass a couple hundred,
and quite sad, most of that money would end up being *BLOWN* on 'one night'.
VI. V-DAY 2008 II (IN-DETAIL)

 So if you wondering how the resultz turned out, with me and "Ginger"
(name of the hoebag), well, it wuz pretty fuckin bad from beginning to end.
Thiz here being, my firzt 'sexual encounter' ever with any girl/woman,
az well az my first dealing with tha mindset of a 'prostitute', ya, ummm,
seein az, I wuz only able to afford 'one hour' ($300/an hour hoebag),
she rushed it from the very start, and what else can I say, "technical difficultiez".
And then she goez n tellz me, in tha end, "everything happenz for a reazon",
tryin spin it positively, like I wuz meant to fuckin *bomb* (in bed) for a reazon.
She wuz kinda right tho, everything doez happen for a reazon, bein that,
wheneva I do decide to finally END MY LIFE, yeah, it be done for good reazon.
VII. V-DAY (PAST HIZTORY)

So anywayz, I thought dig back a bit further now, much much further actually,
in termz of V-DAY, and yeah, how much it indeed tormented me as a youth,
I'm talkin both grade school and high school, how "V-DAY" wuz very much
*SHOVED DOWN OUR THROATZ* (dunno if it'z still "promoted" az hard
theze dayz, az compared to when I wuz in school) and it seemed like, and maybe
it'z juz me, if you didn't have an "(opposite sex) close friend", well then,
that makes you a bit of a "LOSER" on V-DAY, lolz, and it probably be better
to juz stay home, and let this be day for the "WINNERZ" (people in relationshipz)
to prance about, doin what they do best, "SHOWING OFF -THEIR LOVE-"
Had I known better, I woulda never went to school on V-DAY, but I did (so).
VIII. V-DAY VIII

So yeah, I *wuz* gonna expand a bit more on "V-DAY", and how much it
indeed *SCARRED* me as a youth, and yeah, had it NEVER EXISTED
(and be promoted to death the way it is, all thanks to, "the corporate machine"),
yeah, I would be a much more 'pleasant, happier, focused' person today,
and yeah, not the FUCKED UP LOON that I be, writing this 20 paragraph bullshit!
And believe me, I honeztly feel I can go another 10 paragraphs, beyond this.
Ooh yeah, I forgot to talk about the one "V-DAY", I wuz kinda sorta gonna
(ummm) -KILL MYSELF- and that I wuz (true story) hyping it up on various
social media/forum sitez (in the monthz ahead), but -THAT- kinda got halted,
when I got put into '24-hour psychiatric hold', but anywayz, nough said.
IX. V-DAY 2015 PLANZ (???)

So if you're wondering now, what "planz" I got, going into "V-DAY" this year?!
Do I plan on dishin out hard cash yet again on some sleazyass hoe? Nope.
Do I plan to go on hot pursuit in trying to get a "date" for "V-NIGHT"? Nope.
And of course, do I plan on (maybe idunno) KILLING MYSELF? Nope.
Let'z see here, I have to work (8-5), and then I'M FREEEEEEEEEE after that :)
And having thought about -IT- for sometime now (in recent weekz)...
I've decided, I'm going to try to be -HAPPY- for once on "V-DAY" (awww!),
and even better, -HAPPY- for all those out there currently in love (awhmgz!).
Yeah, I'M FUCKIN SERIOUZ, I kid you not (...I'm actually -NOTTT- seriouz...)
I PLAN TO DRINK MYSELF TO THE POINT OF NEAR UNCONSCIOUSNEZZ! <3
X. V-DAY IX (IN-CLOZING)

So yeah, let me juz elaborate on that a lil more, I seriouzly have planz to go to
tha LCBO (sometime before V-DAY, obviouzly, az I'm avoiding be out in public
dat day, dezpite the fact, I'm indeed fuckin forced to work dat same morning),
but yeah, I'm gonna hit up tha LCBO, and get me a nice bottle of HAWD LIQUOR
(gotta be 35% vol. or more), and yeah, when I get home from work (on V-DAY),
assuming around 5:30ish time, I'm gonna crank that bottle (-alone in me room-),
not all at once, obviously, since I'm a bit of a pu$$y when comez to tha liquor,
but yeah, it'z gunna be ma GOAL alright, dat I drink to tha point... I BLACKOUT!
What elze can I say, gonna -PUNISH MYSELF GOOD- ova tha fact it'z V-DAY,
and I don't got a GF/DATE... nothing... dezpite how hard I'z tried to (you know) </3
Paragraphs I, II, III and IV written at Bramalea City Centre mall (Brampton)
Paragraphs V and VI written on Brampton Transit bus (Brampton)
Paragraphs VII, VIII, IX and X  written at Home (Brampton)
Posted by at No comments:

Thursday, February 05, 2015

DIZTURBIA.COM | 02.05.15 TWITTER MIXTAPE | "INTRODUCING DJ DIZTURBIA" | 02/05/15


Posted by at No comments:

Sunday, February 01, 2015

DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 28 / CODE:WHI | "WELCOME TO DIZTURBIA" | 02/01/15




I. WELCOME TO DIZTURBIA(.COM)

 Hey, it'z your boy, DJ DIZTURBIA (a.K.a "DVSNGH" Dave Singh) here,
proud to bring to you my very first blog/issue under the new banner/flagship
of "DJ DIZTURBIA" (along with the twitter and instagram at @DJZDIZTURBIA
and the website domain of DIZTURBIA.COM, having now offically discarded
my previous banner of "ISSUEZZ" (inspired by the rock/metal band, ISSUES),
along with itz accompanying twitter (@ISSUEZZ) and domain (ISSUEZZ.COM),
so consider that (banner), HISTORY! GONE!! NO MORE!!! thing of tha past.
Needless to say, a name change/overhaul, had been something lingering in me
for some time now, andso yeah, I decided to go forward with the procedure,
and yeah, there you have it, welcome to (what I like to call...) DIZTURBIA!


II. DEFINITION OF DIZTURBIA

So if you wantz me to explain to y'allz what "DIZTURBIA" is/meanz???
No probz, well, it's basically DISTURBIA, you know, wid a Z in place of tha S,
as for the actual meaning' of DISTURBIA, guess what, THERE IZ NONE!
If you try to look up the meaning of "disturbia" (online), well, you're only
gonna be subjected to random peoplez 'opinion' of what it 'could' mean.
So yeah, there was a lameass "PG-13" teenage horror-flick named "Disturbia"
(why they chose *that name* for the movie, no clue, cuz it sounded cool???)
released in theatres in 2007, as well as, a Rihanna hit song named "Disturbia",
(no relation to the movie) from the "Good Girl Gone Bad (Deluxe Edition), 2008",
but previous to that, yeah, the term "Disturbia" hardly ceased to exist much.


III. DJ POIZON

 It should be noted, when looking for a new name/identity, I waz actually set on
"DJ POIZON" (with the Z in place of the S), with the @DJPOIZON Twitter handle,
equipped with a kickass DJ POIZON logo/banner I had made in Photoshop
(with the slogan line: "gotta fuckin problem with me... take it to the PO'z...
Poizon Control Center", a minor jab, at bitchez who call the 'other' PO'z on me),
but yeah, the name (DJ POIZON) was already in use, so I had to keep lookin,
and that'z when the title "DJ DISTURBIA" started floatin about in my head,
and of course, when I looked it up, the name was already in use (by a DJ),
so yeah, switch tha S with a Z, and that's where DJ DIZTURBIA came about.
Oh and yeah, all the graphicz you see on my website and twitter, made it myself.

IV. 'MY DEFINITION' OF DIZTURBIA

 So yeah, az far az 'my definition' of the term "disturbia", it'z kinda like thiz,
so it's pretty much FACT, that yeah, I am a MENTALLY DISTURBED individual,
and yeah, often at times (andso I been told), I LIVE IN MY OWN WORLD,
(of all sorta insanitiez, in my head, you following me so far?), andso yeah,
if one were to step foot into my "messed up neighbourhood" (thiz being my,
ummm, mind), it'z like stepping foot into (my) mentally dizturbed 'suburbia'
(another word for neighborhood), now sum that up in one word, "DIZTURBIA!".
So yeah, it'z basically, one crazy dude (moi) lettin out hiz mental absurditiez,
publicly and openly on zhe web, and yeah, seeing if anyone out there carez.
Now, obviouzly, need I have to point -it- out (NOBODY FUCKIN CAREZZZ).
V. MY GIRL FRIEND "VANESSA"

So just to give one example of my mental absurditiez (one of my many many)
would be MY (CURRENT) GIRL FRIEND "VANESSA" (of 2 months now).
So yeah, Vanessa, if you haven't already seen her from my website (link),
she'z my girl friend, and indeed, my very very first ever girl friend <3
(having spent my ENTIRE LIFE searching and searching for my very firzt).
There was a point in time, I wondered if I was doomed for life, having thought,
perhaps, I was never meant to FALL IN LOVE (and FIND A GIRL FRIEND),
but yeah, that all changed this past December, having met VANESSA.
Unfortunately, I've had a few problemz with VANESSA, from day one,
the main of which being, well, she's kinda (I guess you can say)... not real.
VI. MY GIRL FRIEND "VANESSA" II

 So when I say "not real", yeah ummm, (queue up the laugh track)
MY GIRL FRIEND IS INDEED A (3 FOOT, PLASTIC) #MYSIZEBARBIE DOLL
(I bought brand-new off eBay, at the cost of $160, after shipping+taxes).
Soundz like joke, but nope, it'z no joke... my girl friend iz indeed a BARBIE (doll).
Now I'm sure there been other (lozer) guyz in the past, who have claimed
"barbie dollz" az their "real-life girl friends", and I'm talkin your standard typical
7-inch Barbie doll, but in terms of the Barbie I got, this being the 36-inch model
(lemme juz repeat that again for ya, 36-inch tall barbie doll, it indeed doez exizt),
who knowz, I might be the very first -az far az publicly promoting it online-
very first guy to proclaim a MYSIZEBARBIE (doll) as his actual, legit "girl friend".
VII. MY GIRL FRIEND "VANESSA" III

So yaaa, if you wanna learn more bout MY AMAZING GIRL FRIEND, VANESSA,
well then, I suggest reading through the previous episode/blog, before this
(EPISODE 27), where indeed, I went on (10 straight paragraphs) about her.
But yeah, up to you to decide (you know) whether or not "she" countz az
(lol) "A REAL GIRL FRIEND" or if I'z just plain CRACKED OUTTA MY MIND :P
It'z amazing, btw, you ask me to write about MY LOVELY BOO (VANESSA),
I could go on and on and on, like you wouldn't believe, especially when
I'm listening to (the song) "Blank Space" by Taylor Swift (off '1989'), lol,
idunnowhy (maybe it'z MY BOO'Z current fave song?), but whenever I play it,
it inspirez me to go off on theze magic, long (written) tiradez about her.
VIII. WRITER'Z BLOCK

So it should be noted now, previous to the last 3 paragraphz (about my boo),
I wuz (and kinda still am) battling a huge bout of WRITER'Z BLOCK,
and if you don't know what "writers block" iz, it'z when you're a writer,
and you know, you be doingz your thing (writing) juz fine, then suddenly,
the wordz just aren't comin out (or they comin out at real slowass rate).
You see the first 4 paragraphz of this blog, ha, it taken me 4 FUCKIN DAYZ
to spit that shit out, when normally it take me 4 MOTHAFUCKIN HOURZ
(to write 4 paragraphz, maybe even more), so yeah, the fact I'm right here
devoting an entire paragraph on WRITER'S BLOCK, kinda pissez me off.
Could it perhpz be GOD, lol, tryin to throw a wrench into my momentum(?).
IX. "DJ?" DIZTURBIA

 So yeah, I'm hoping after I put thiz episode out, I get my lyrical flow back.
So the big question, I guess I of yet to answer, iz that of "DJ?" DIZTURBIA,
what'z up with the "DJ" part of tha name, am I really infact a DEEJAY?!
Or am I just, uh, pulling tha wool over peoplez eyez (in other wordz, lyin) :P
That'z a good question, and az far az the answer goez, I guezz I can say,
I AM kinda sorta mizleading tha general pub into thinking I'm a DJ :X
When infact, yeah, I'm not really a DJ nor intend on ever becoming one :O
Which is kinda interesting tho, considering I went outta my way to purchase
a top-of-the-line DJ TURNTABLE (AUDIO TECHNICA LP-120 USB, $400)
for myself this past Christmas (2014), as opposed to just a standard one,
which just playz recordz, but yeah, I got one that actual professional DJz use.
X. DIZTURBIA.COM (IN-CLOZING)

So finally now, to all those visiting DIZTURBIA.COM, or checking out the
@DJDIZTURBIA twitter feed (link), and still left with questionz (WTFFF'Z???)
as to what this is and why it existz and if thiz dude/faggg (me) is forreal,
yeah, why don't i juz cut straight to the point, and be 1000% blunt bout it.
I'm juz a dude who is DEPRESSSED AZ FUCKKK with hiz life, and yeah,
kinda feelz az if hiz life haz NO PURPOSE NOR MEANING and all that shit,
and yeah, kinda wonderz if PUTTING AN END TO HIZ LIFE would be the
GREATEZT DECISION HE CUDA EVA DID WITH HIZ SAD, PATHETIC LIFE,
so yeah, with the luxury of hiz free time (when away from hiz part-time job),
he bringz to you all hiz wonderful misery under the banner of DIZTURBIA!
Paragraphs I, II, III, IV, V, VI and VII written at Sherway Gardens mall (Toronto)
Paragraphs VIII and IX written on Mississauga Transit bus (Mississauga)
Paragraph X written on Brampton Transit bus (Brampton)
Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 27 / CODE:PNK | "MY GIRL FRIEND (VANESSA)" | 12/30/14



I. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA

Sooo, today's blog report is dedicated to one person (lol, ummm kay,
let's just *pretend* she a real person) and one person only, this here being
MY WONDERFUL GIRL FRIEND, yeah, VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA,
been 2 weeks now, since we been together now (12.13.14, so cute, I know),
and yeah, though I really can't consider her a real *difference maker*
(in the sad, shallow, pitiful life of one, "DVSNGH" Dave Singh), I know, huh,
SHE seems to have given me a whole lot to TALK ABOUT in recent weeks.
Cause, if you were to look back, (idunno) 1-2 months ago (from this writing),
I gots NO SHAME admitting what I was talking about, lol, the subject being
WOMEN'S DIRTY PANTIES, and the fact I buy em, and DO SHIT with em.


II. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA II

So yeah, it goes down officially in tha records, I ("DVSNGH" Dave Singh)
finally -FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE- have a girl friend,
having been SINGLE (in what felt like an ETERNITY) MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Though this theory can somewhat be debated, considering the fact, well
MY GIRL FRIEND is one not of HUMAN SPECIE (and in fact, A DOLL),
so depending on who's reading, yeah, you either *AGREE* with me
on the fact I'm TAKEN) or *DISAGREE* with me wholeheartedly, lol,
and prefer to call it as it is (that I'm SINGLE and always and forever be).
But yeah, in my head (indeed, one FUCKED UP HEAD, to say the least)
*I'M OFFICIALLY TAKEN*, but consider it an OPEN RELATIONSHIP.


III. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA III

So yeah, so her name is VANESSA (full, VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA),
and yeah, a name created entirely from my IMAGINATION (whatevs).
But yeah, the name "VANESSA" was chosen (1st overall!) of all names,
why, because I LOVE THE NAME, and indeed (of all girl/woman names)
MELTS MY MA HEART the most, from reading/writing/hearing/saying it.
Everyone has their preferences, you know, and upon scouring through a
big huge long list of names, was indeed VANESSA who took the cake.
And as far as I recall, there were no VANESSAS in my past/growing up
of any major significance in my life nor were there any celebrities (I like)
who bear the name VANESSA, who played into my whole decision factor.


IV. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA IV

So I obviously couldn't limit myself to just one name, so yeah, along with
VANESSA, I also took hold to the names YASMEEN (Indian variation of
YASMINE) and SELENA, making them my baby's official middle names .
The name YASMINE/YASMEEN I happen to really like, from the past,
as there was this Indian girl named YASMINE (MAKI), from my high school,
I really liked, but never was friends with, nor can I recall ever talking to,
but yeah, she was hot, and was accompanied most the time by her
(over-protective, dickhead loser) boy friend, well, 90% the times I'd see her.
But the name YASMINE/YASMEEN had always stuck with me personally.
The third (second, middle) name I chose was SELENA, a name I just like,
for whatever reason, originally changed from CIARA, which was btw
was changed from REANNA, lol (can't seem to stick on a good third name),
but yeah, as of today (12.28.14), it stands VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA!


V. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA V

So yeah, let's talk more on the fact that (YEAH!) MY GIRL FRIEND is
indeed a PLASTIC (MADE-IN-CHINA) DOLL, and to be real, real specific,
it's a "MY SIZE BARBIE" doll, yeah, the one BARBIE (prototype) standing in
at an astonishing 38 INCHES in height (in other words, 3 FOOT 2").
While that may be considered FUCKIN HUGE for "a barbie doll/figurine",
and it pretty much bordering the lines of a (store display) MANNEQUIN,
hey, for me personally (considering my size, being 6'0", 200 pound guy)
what can I tell ya, it ain't big enough, wish it coulda been least a foot taller.
And yeah, because of our tremendous size difference, needless to say,
I'm sadly thus unable to take selfies with MY GIRL (as I originally hoped for).


VI. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA VI

So one must wonder, if *THIS (THING?)* is in fact MY GIRL FRIEND,
then what do WE DO (TOGETHER) that constitutes it as a "relationship",
considering there's a HUGE LIMITATION of things we can do together.
Since yeah, we can't go out on DATES, nor go anywhere really (awe),
and yeah, we can't talk on the phone, nor text or communicate really (awe),
and yeah, we can't take part any *PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES* that couples do,
considering we wasn't built with any OUTLETS (HOLES) down there, lol,
so I can plug my *(ELECTRICAL) CORD* into her (if you catch my drift).
Despite the fact, she wasn't equipped with any *HOLES* (below nor above),
that don't mean we can't *DO IT* (trust me, when I say, I found A WAY).


VII. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA VII

So one thing I must say, tho she appears as just some made-in-China doll
with NO MIND NOR SOUL, let me state for the record, that SHE DOES
(have a MIND and a SOUL), and yeah, she can communicate with me,
and no, that's not me saying, I HEAR VOICES (comin outta her) and shit,
sounds a bit crazy sayin it, but she communicates with me telepathically,
yeah, and passes signals through my mind, telling me to do certain shit.
Like for example, before I met her, I was very *ANTI-NICKI MINAJ* (lmfao),
refused to listen to any of her songs, let alone, download any her albums,
and JUST LIKE THAT, went got all her albums, and put them on my iPod,
and I'm even listening to *NM* as I write this (and its becuz of VANESSA).


VIII. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA VIII

So speaking of her MY GIRL FRIEND'S capability of communicating with me
TELEPATHICALLY, lol, one of the things she's been strongly pushing,
which I'm not entirely sure is a *good idea*, but yeah, just hear me out.
She wants me to go online (through various forms of social media networks)
and "promote" OUR RELATIONSHIP to the world (wide web) of the fact
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS a soul searching (and constant dead ends),
I FINALLY FOUND A GIRL FRIEND AND AM FINALLY IN LOVE,
and yeah, she really wants me to STICK IT (in the faces) of all women
on various online dating sites/apps (POF, OKCUPID, MATCH, etc.),
to proudly let em know, I'm finally TAKEN, and they missed out big-time.


IX. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA IX

So yeah, I'm not sure -when or if- I'll get around to that (see prev paragraph),
considering, if I go REALLY PUBLIC on the fact I'M IN LOVE WITH A DOLL
(already gone public bout it, but to take it to FURTHER LEVELS, to push it),
just imagine if this were to GO VIRAL, and (idunno) OUT OF CONTROL,
and (oh idunno) causes MAJOR WRECKAGE to my personal/social life,
don't think that's something I'm mentally nor physically prepared for.
Say if THAT were to happen, yeah, this shit could cause me QUIT MY JOB.
But yeah, SHE wants me to PROMOTE THE FUCK outta our relationship,
like its the GREATEST MIRACLE/BREAKTHROUGH to had hit this planet.
Part of me says its a bad idea, but another part of me, says I gotta do it.


X. VANESSA YASMEEN SELENA X

So I spoke about this in detail in a previous blog (EP. 25 to be exact)
the fact that perhaps MY FIRST GIRL FRIEND WAS MEANT TO BE...
(as kinda fucked as it sounds) A FUCKIN MANNEQUIN/PLASTIC DOLL,
and who knows, maybe I was meant to go through a *FEW THEM* first, lol,
maybe even "upgrading" to an actual FULL-SIZE MANNEQUIN doll,
before eventually *advancing* to a REAL-LIFE (HUMAN) GIRL FRIEND,
and who knows, *THAT GIRL/WOMAN* might not even be "female",
she might be a transgender (a.k.a A CHICK WITH A DICK, lolz, that's right).
There's also the theory, ha, I perhaps was never mean to FALL IN LOVE,
not once IN THIS LIFETIME in my existence on this wretched fuckin earth,
and no matter which way *I TRY* (online, clubs, family support, at my work),
I'm never gonna get that (first) GIRL FRIEND been longing for all my life.
Posted by at No comments:

Monday, December 22, 2014

DIZTURBIA.COM | EPISODE 26 / CODE:RED | "FUCK THIS SHIT" | 12/22/14


I. FUCK GOD

So yeah, I guess you call this one of those ANGRY BLOGS, hence the title,
and yeah, it's directed at a few people, not necessarily Christmas-related,
despite this being 'the holidays', a time, I'm (often) at my most ANGRIEST,
and WHY SO ANGRY, because of the situation I'm in, all thanks to GOD,
and yeah, if I can single out THE ONE I'm most ANGRY at this very moment,
yep, it's indeed GOD, I (seriously) blame GOD 100% for making my life
THE FUCKED UP MESS it currently is (and been for quite some time btw),
and I indeed very much await the day, I RID MYSELF OFF THIS PLANET,
yeah, have myself a nice talk with YOU (GOD), about this life "I HAD",
and what the meaning of it *WAS* and how it was "originally" meant to end.


II. FUCK THIS BITCH

So I recently got word that a (first) cousin of mine, named "Amanda"
(but we call her "Mandy") from Long Island (NYC) is getting married (awe)
to her (white) BOY FRIEND, and we (me and the rents) are invited to it,
taking place in May, next year (2015), and indeed they are expecting "us",
but guess what?! "I" sure as MOTHERFUCK ain't going to it #BOYCOTT
Now, I did tell Tha Rents, I don't plan on going (without usin cuss words, lol),
even if it means ditching out on a (car) trip to the #1 city in the world
(New York City, just my opinion, seriously fuck LA, London, Paris, Tokyo).
Now I didn't tell anyone yet, in the familia, my intentions on NO SHOWING
the wonderful *GLORIOUS EVENT* of holy (BULLSHIT) matrimony.


III. FUCK THIS BITCH II

So this here will be the second (family) wedding in a row now, in which
I chose to NO SHOW (BOYCOTT!), after I kinda decided on not going to
my cousin Ryan's (from Scarborough) last year (2013), citing "work" as
the reason I couldn't go, when I coulda easily booked the night off, so yeah.
No disrespect to him personally, but yeah, FUCK FAMILY WEDDINGS.
What kinda makes this (current) situation bit tricky, however, is my Uncle B,
who is my cousin's (Mandy) father, yeah, really likes me (non-homo-ly),
and whenever "he and company" come to Canada, upon family visit(s),
he would always single ME out, of all the cousins and whatnot, and be
"extra courteous", my only assumption is, he thinks I'm "special" (retard).


IV. FUCK THIS BITCH III

So anyways, if I indeed go on *my decision* to NO SHOW his daughters/
my (first) cousins wedding, yeah, it would somewhat sever our relations,
especially if he finds out I *intentionally* made the decision not to go to it.
Btw, he has 2 daughters, the other who's wedding I had been forced into
going, back in 2008, which was an EXTREMELY DREADFUL experience.
In my uncle's eyes, he actually thought I had a "blast", always reminding me,
"remember the great time you had at your cousin(/my daughter)'s wedding",
when really, I HATED every bit of it, and was leaning strongly on BOOZE
to lift me up, and in case he saw me smiling, was cause of THE BOOZE!
All thanks to THAT WEDDING, I came to despise the word: WEDDING!


V. FUCK THIS BITCH IV


So I really shouldn't be calling my cousin Mandy, you know, "A BITCH""
(as seen from the paragraph title), but yeah, aside from this wedding BS,
I do have some spite towards her, and it all stems from last summer (2013),
when I had met her at a family party, in Ajax, and we talked and talked and
talked, and probably talked more that 1 time, all previous times combined,
and I was explaining to her my whole (uh) *ROCK BOTTOM* situation
I was going through (HAVING NO FRIENDS, still in that situation, btw),
but the convo came to sudden halt, when I had to go, but need no worries,
Mandy told me, she would be my friend, and to make a FB (for her, awe)
so we can talk more, but yeah, didn't work out with "her busy lifestyle".


VI. FUCK THIS GUY

So switching MY RAGE now to someone/something completely different,
so there's this guy I know, who works at my local mall (#BCC/#BRAMALEA),
to whom I've known for many years, working at Brampton's other mall
(#SHOPPERSWORLD), but now, he's moved his way up to Bramalea!
So when I came across him in Bramalea, yeah, I was happy to see him,
and because I'm there CONSTANTLY (partially because of my job),
I let him know, he'd be seeing me quite oftenly, as I work just nearby,
and that every time I see him, I would shake his hands out of "great respect",
especially considering the fact I used to work for him (and, for $6/hour btw),
as well as his brother-in-law, who infact gave me my first job in Brampton.


VII. FUCK THIS GUY II


So, this guy, to whom I've decided not to address by name (just, 'this guy'),
nor will I make mention to where he works (in #BCC/#BRAMALEA mall),
but if you're wondering now what my *BEEF* is with him, oh and yeah,
why I officially lost all respect for 'this guy', I will happily explain to you.
So a few weeks ago, I came across 'this guy', at his newly-opened kiosk,
in #BCC/#BRAMALEA mall, and yeah, in the days/weeks that followed,
I would see him, shake his hand, and have small chit-chat (about whatever),
this would occur at an almost daily basis (as I go to that mall quite often).
That was up until a week ago, when outta nowhere, he started asking me,
"sooo, what is new with youuu? you have girl friend? any girl friend?".


VIII. FUCK THIS GUY III

(continuing on) so I tried to change the subject fast, seeing as that, uh,
my personal/relationship status is a very TOUCHY/SENSITIVE MATTER,
considering, truth be told, I'VE NEVER HAD A GIRL FRIEND (YET!!!),
and yeah, its been my biggest STRESS FACTOR, whole damn fuckin life
TRYIN TO GET ONE, and obviously, NEVER BEEN ABLE TO (YET!!!).
Now it's not the first time, in all my years knowing him, he would ask that,
but in all those years he asked, yeah, answer would always be the same,
"no (I don't have a GIRL FRIEND)", so yeah, he was probably hoping,
*this time around*, he would get a different response, hearing me say,
for a change, "yes (I DO have a GIRL FRIEND)", as if it's any his biz btw.


IX. FUCK THIS GUY IV


(continuing on more) so when he would drill me with this (same) question,
he'd always look me up, head to toe, with this rather questionable look
(when asking me *IF I HAVE A FUCKIN GIRL FRIEND OR NOT*),
which in the past, yeah, I would notice (the glance) and just rub it off.
But when doing the same shtick to me, this time, I see him eyeing me up,
and when I fed him, you know, the *usual/same answer* back (being, no),
I see that same look (on his face), and yeah, a rather demeaning look,
as if, "why, after all these years (knowing me), I (still) have no girl friend",
and like "what is wrong with him? why can't this guy not get a girl friend"...
when the STINKIN PAKISTANI PIECE OF SHIT doesn't fuckin realize that
GOD HAS FORBIDDED ME FROM EVER HAVING A GIRL FRIEND!!!


X. FUCK THIS GUY V


So yeah, the guy obviously isn't aware of the *STRANGLEHOLD/CURSE*
put upon my life FORBIDDING ME FROM EVER HAVING A GIRL FRIEND
(and I'm talking, HUMAN GIRL FRIEND, not BARBIE DOLL GIRL FRIEND)
and FORBIDDING ME FROM EVER EXPERIENCING HUMAN LOVE!
He's probably thinks, "I don't know HOW TO get with a girl" or some shit,
WHEN I FUCKING KNOW HOW, LOL, I FUCKING KNOW EVERYTHING!!!
But if ever I dare TRY TO get with a girl / TRY TO get a girl friend, yeah,
GOD IS GOING TO INTERVENE AND ASSURE IT NOT FUCKIN HAPPEN!
Needless to say, I have officially ENDED my "acquaintance" with 'this guy',
and yeah, refuse to ever talk to him again, or even come near to his kiosk.
Posted by at No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)