I.
Hey it'z your boy DJ DIZTURBIA (a.K.a "DVSNGH" Dave Singh) here,
writing thiz one live at tha Starbucks, Main/Steeles intersection, in Brampton,
still on tha night of ma "so-called birthday" (which I refuse to accept az such).
Juz arrived, comin off ma shittyazz outing at Mississauga Lakeshore,
and seeing az it wuz only juz 8:45(PM) by time I got back to Brampton,
no point in really rushin home, ya know, tha whole -night iz young- shit.
Here to bring to you a real *ENTERTAINING* blog to say tha very least,
keeping in mind here, tha fact I wuz in a very hurtful state when writing thiz :)
Now what I'm about to write here, ain't no suicide note, nor iz it any sort of a
"lead-up" to a suicide note, it iz simply juz that of a "fantasy sequence".
II.
So tha name of thiz one particular blog iz called "18 WHEELER (TRUCK)",
and yeah, it iz simply about, yeah... throwing your body in front ONE :)
And indeed, in front of one that iz moving, at high speed (scary shit, I know).
Now I'm not saying "you should" (if you're reading thiz and considerin it,
PLEASE DON'T! Juz think about your loved onez and friendz! I repeat...)
But anywayz, you know tha famouz saying, "when life givez you lemonz...
(Yeah!) you fuckin make lemonade out of it (and tha best lemonade you can!).
Well what if GOD gave tha most rancid and stalest and inedible of lemonz,
you obviouzly can't be making no lemonade with that shit (am I right?!)
Well, there'z *some of us* who are given *thoze lemonz* in life, and yeah,
they aren't juz given to uz *randomly* (despite what some optimistz say),
they are given az a sign, simply juz to say, *you have no business being here*.
III.
So ma point with tha whole 'lemon talk' thing, iz basically juz me saying,
well, there'z a 'select' few of us who are thrown thoze lemonz, and yeah,
not all of uz seem to "get tha hint", but of that 'select' few, there'z indeed
the 'very select' few "who get tha hint", and realize that az they continue
to exist on thiz planet, they're neva gonna *fresh lemonz*, let alone,
sweet, deliciouz orangez (or tangerinez or grapefuitz) for that matter,
they will continue to be fed tha BS, perhapz, until tha very day they die!
So yeah (ma point now, again, with tha lemonz), I'm juz saying that,
it'z only thoze (thoze 'very select') to whom thiz blog actually appliez to.
In otha wordz, if you're juz a 'wanderer', you stay tha fuck off thiz* page.
IV.
So yeah, speaking of another famouz saying, you eva heard of the one
"suicide is NOT an option", lol, well guezz what... IT IZ A FUCKIN OPTION!
(it'z only IGNORANCE behind that saying/slogan, juz to be blunt, sorry).
But yeah, if you're indeed amongst tha 'select few', you DO have tha option!
And one of thoze optionz iz that of THA (SPEEDIN) 18 WHEELER (TRUCK).
You juz gotta make *THA MOVE*, and most importantly, if you gonna DO IT,
you gotta give it your 100%, cuz if you (partially) puss out, and give it 50%,
well, you WILL end up (like) a stale, rotten, rancid lemon for tha rest of ya life.
Having looked through all tha otha optionz, for *ME, PERSONALLY*, I think
THAT'Z* tha way I'm gonna make 'ma exit', BANGIN' (if ya know what im sayin).
V.
So I thought I take a few momentz in going down all tha otha "optionz"
that exist, in termz of one'z rightful exit from thiz 'hellhole' we call earth.
Startin out with, well, tha most popular of them all, thiz being tha
classic GUNSHOT to tha head (either thru tha temple or in thru tha mouth).
Az great az that soundz, unfortunately, gunz aren't so much 'legal'
here in Canada, az compared to our neighbourz down south (tha USofA),
so yeah, to be able to get access to 'my very own gun', it'z near impossible.
Plus, if I were to had a GUN on me RIGHT NOW, I don't think I got tha
strength/willpowa to (you know) use it on myself (I know, I'm such a puss).
And if I knew sum1 who had one, and asked them to do *tha honor* for me,
(even if they let em get off safe), 99% likely they prolly wouldn't agree to it.
VI.
So tha next option iz, well, eva heard tha line "why don't ya jump off a cliff!"
or tha very similar "you should juz go jump off a bridge!", tha point being
(obviouzly) to go find some place really high up (in distance to tha ground),
and to basicly *JUMP* til you hit tha surface, and BOOM! You're done.
Az great az that soundz too, say I really wanted to do thiz, and yeah, say
I wanted to do it off (uh) THA CN TOWER, (obviouzly) there are measurez
put in place to prevent such ACT of eva occurring (no point really tryin).
Now I'm sure there other (REALLY HIGH) placez I can go find (to JUMP OFF),
but tha thing iz, I still have a good chance of surviving, but even worse,
either I'll be paralyzed or lose access to one or two main important limbz.
So yeah, not all too confident with that option, az good az it soundz on paper.
VII.
So anotha wonderful option iz that known az tha "DRUG OVERDOSE"
(or simply 'O.D.' for short), a popular one you may often hear in tha newz
('so-and-so' died last night of an overdose...), often tha case with celebritiez.
Now in order for one to go thru thiz procedure (and to *succeed* with it),
yeah, you'll need access first to (you know) some good ol' fashion DRUGZ,
and not juz any run-of-tha mill drugz, we're talkin tha stuff that can only be
prescribed to ya (if we're talkin 'prescription drugz'), or if we're talkin bout
'street drugz', not only do you need to know a drug dealer (which I don't, btw),
but you gotta have BIG BUCKZ to get tha good shit (you know, tha stuff
GUARANTEED to kill ya, if you ova do it), but when you're poor (like me, awe),
I guezz you don't have access to thiz *EXIT* (door, out of life, only tha rich!).
VIII.
So yeah, thoze are juz a few otha *OPTIONZ* I felt like sharin with y'allz,
there'z indeed plenty more, but yeah, don't have all day to talk about them,
but az far az MA OPTION goez, you know, tha one that perhapz best fitz me,
yeah, it'z tha one I spoke about at tha very start (of thiz blog), simply put,
(DEATH BY) 18-WHEELER (TRUCK) or howeva otha way you wanna put it,
here'z another cool way you can put it... (DEATH BY) LEAP OF FAITH, lolz,
considering tha fact, well, you're basically taking a leap (a huge leap, indeed)
in throwing your body (to which you have no longer have a PURPOSE for)
in fronta that oh so FAST (and HEAVY) incoming, pending object of DOOM!
Mind you, tha *AFTERMATH* may indeed be UUUGGGLLLYYY, to say tha least,
but need no worriez, you won't have to see NOT ONE single drop of tha blood!
IX.
So anywayz now, depending on how much of *tha previouz paragraph*
you read (oh tha horror!), yeah, I wuz actually gonna go a lil furtha (lolz)
in termz of tha *(GRUESOME) DETAILZ*, buh yeah, I decided to hold off,
juz might save *that* for (possible, potential) -PART 2- of thiz blog :P
But hey, I really wanna take thiz moment here in THANKING GOD, ya,
for makin ma beloved birthday weekend (05.30.15 +++ 05.31.15) az
SLOW AND MIZERABLE AND DEPRESSINGLY BAD AZ IT FUCKIN WUZ!
Otherwize, I wouldn't had been given tha mental strength and fortitude
to had written thizzz very same (horrific) blog posting you see righ hereee!
And thank you also, GOD, for tha small lil bag of "3D" bacon/cheddar Doritos,
from tha 7/11, I'm eating, az I'm writing thiz piece *live* on #BramptonTransit!
X.
So yeah, lookz like there'z gonna be a *PART 2* to thiz blog (COMIN SOON),
cuzzz yeah, tha simple thought a me ***THROWIN MA BODY*** infronta
***(SPEEDIN) 18 WHEELER TRUCK*** (goin at leazzzt 50/MPH, need I add),
I swear, I could go ON AND ON AND ON (writin) about thizzz subject, yeah,
perhapz, ON AND ON AND ON, until ***ONE DAY***... BAMMM! and I'm gone! :)
Ma focuz iz now gonna be getting hold of both (yeah, BOTH) a copy of
THA HOLY BIBLE and THA HOLY QURAN, cuzzz yeah, if ya haven't been,
uh, following tha impending story, I kinda found me a new target of sortz,
to set MA INSANITY towardz (bout 98% mentally set on doin thiz shit),
but yeah, lookz like I'm headed into tha hardest summer of ma entire life,
and yeah, I'm only juz at tha tip of it here seemz, expect more hard timez!
Paragraphs I and II written at Starbucks Main Street (Brampton)
Paragraphs III, IV and X written on Brampton Transit bus (Brampton)
Paragraphs V through IX written at 747 Brampton Flea Market (Brampton)
